The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
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Sample Response
The graph provides information on the number of shopping facilities that were closed and opened in a particular country between the years 2011 and 2018.
Overall, in 2011 a large number of shopsamount of shopping facilities were opened, while in 2015 a huge number of shops experiencedexperineced closure.
Regarding the opening of the shopping facilities, in 2011, the number of newly opened shops peakedwas at the peak, at nearly 8500 facilities, before dropping significantly to approximately 4000 shops in 2012. Between 2012 and 2014 the number rose markedly toat about 6100 facilities, before experiencing yet another decrease in number of 4000 shops in 2015. From the year 2015 to 2016 the number of newly opened shops remained at a moderate level, before rising slightlybefore reporting a slight increase at about 4100 shops in 2017. The lowest numberleast amount of openings waswere recorded in 2018, approximately 3000 shops.
In terms of closures , between 2011 and 2012, the number dropped slightlyslighly from nearly 6400 to 5900 shops, before rising toat about 7100 facilities in 2013. In 2014 closures and openings reachedthe closures and the opening reported a similar figureproportion, approximately 6200 shops. Between 2014 and 2015 the number of closed shops experienced a major drop to around 600, before rising steeply to roughly 5200 in 2016.major drop, before rising steeply to roughly 5100 facilities. From the year 2016 to 2018, the figure reported a slight fluctuation, before reaching approximately 5200 shopsreaching the amount of about 5100 shops in 2018.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response effectively divides the key data into logical paragraphs and utilizes a good variety of vocabulary to describe numerical changes. However, the accuracy of the main summary is compromised by misinterpreting the 2015 closure data as a peak rather than a significant drop. To improve, ensure overall trends are accurately synthesized and prepositions following movement verbs are checked for precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview contains inaccurate information regarding shop closures in 2015, which actually reached their lowest point rather than experiencing a high figure.
Ensure the overall statement accurately highlights the main high-level trends across the entire timeframe without misreading key data points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged logically into separate paragraphs for openings and closures with a clear overall progression.
Use a wider range of linking devices beyond simple chronological transitions to connect comparisons between the two categories more seamlessly.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of terms for trends and facilities is displayed, though minor spelling slips and incorrect quantifier choices appear.
Use quantifiers like 'number' instead of 'amount' for countable items such as shops and openings.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures is used with generally good control, despite repeated preposition errors accompanying data changes.
Practice using correct prepositions with trend verbs, such as changing 'rose at about' to 'rose to about'.