The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
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Sample Response
The graph provides information on the number of shopping facilities that were closed and opened in a particular country between the years 2011 and 2018.
Overall, both shop openings and closures fluctuated over the period, with openings peaking at the beginning in 2011 and closures reaching a dramatic low in 2015.
Regarding the opening of the shopping facilities, in 2011, the number of newly opened shops peaked, at nearly 8500 facilities, before dropping significantly to approximately 4000 shops in 2012. Between 2012 and 2014, the numberBetween 2012 and 2014 the number rose markedly to about 6100 facilities, before experiencing another decrease to 4000 shopsshops shops in 2015. From the year 2015 to 2016 the number of newly opened shops remained at a moderate level, before showingreporting a slight increase to about 4100 shops in 2017. The lowest number of openings was recorded in 2018, approximately 3000 shops.
In terms of closures , between 2011 and 2012, the number dropped slightly from nearly 6400 to 5900 shops, before rising to about 7100 facilities in 2013. In 2014, closuresIn 2014 closures and openings were at a similar level, approximately 6200 shops. Between 2014 and 2015 the number of closed shops experienced a major drop to about 600 shops, before rising steeply to roughly 5200 shops in 2016roughly 5100 shops. From the year 2016 to 2018, the figure reported a slight fluctuation, before reaching approximately 5100 shops in 2018.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a thorough and accurate description of the visual data with a clear overall overview and well-structured body paragraphs. Key trends and specific figures for both shop closures and openings are accurately reported and logical comparisons are made. To improve further, refine punctuation consistency and avoid minor word repetitions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and effectively highlights all key trends and visual data across the period.
Ensure all minor data points, such as the exact closure figure in 2014, are as precise as possible.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated body paragraphs with clear paragraph topics and effective linking words.
Vary cohesive transitions further to avoid relying on similar paragraph starters like 'Regarding' and 'In terms of'.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of vocabulary for describing trends and statistics is used accurately and flexibly throughout.
Proofread carefully to eliminate accidental word duplication such as 'shops shops'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatical structures are varied and accurate, demonstrating strong control of complex sentences and participial clauses.
Maintain attention to minor typography and spacing details around punctuation marks.