According to some people, we have become more independent in the modern world while others oppose this view and say that we have become more dependent on each other. What is your viewpoint on this issue? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, people live in modern societyare living in modern society and every person tries to have his or her own place among others by developing different relationships with others and relying on them. Many people therefore argueSo many argue that people are becoming dependent on their relationships; however, thisrelations, however, this is refuted by others. This essayAnd this essay will discuss both sides of this issue.
Historically, having intelligence was one of humankind's strengthshumankind's one strong side. The second one was solving common problems by joining hands. This practice remainsstill remains among people and they are dependent on each other as they were in the past. This can be seen in the examples below: Firstly, lifeFirstly life is becoming more difficult, and we are less self-sufficient. Young people rely on parents to fund their studiesfor funding their studies in higher educationschools or to begin their own business. Secondly, jobs are much more specialised, and we need to work in teams. Thus, people are becoming more dependentpeople becoming more dependent on each other than they were before.
On the other hand, some people argue that they are more independentmore self-dependent than ever before for certain reasons. This can be explained by the development of modern technologiesexplained with developing modern technologies. People are using several machines when they encounter difficultieswhen they have some difficulties instead of calling neighbours or friends for help. Additionally, the Internet is providing us with a great amount of information, with access to these sources people are studying and learning new things without any help from others. Most importantly, the way of life in the large citiesmegalopolises is the main factor that encouragesfactor, which encourages people to live independentlyindividually and formhave nuclear families. Therefore, peopleTherefore people tend to be more autonomous in modern lifelifestyle.
In conclusion, I believe that we are more independent than ever before, but even if it is a demand of time, I think we need to stay dependent on each other.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response discusses both perspectives in a balanced structure and supports them with relevant examples about family funding, specialised work, technology, and the internet. Its main limitation is that the writer's own position appears only at the end and remains somewhat qualified without being fully explained. The priority is to state that position in the introduction and use the body discussion to justify it consistently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant ideas and examples, but the personal position is delayed until the conclusion and its qualification is not fully developed.
State the opinion in the introduction and explain why modern independence can coexist with a continuing need for interdependence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through distinct paragraphs, although some linking is mechanical and a few sentences connect ideas imprecisely.
Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the logical relationship between each example and its paragraph claim explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common items, but inaccurate collocations and word forms such as self-dependent and higher schools limit precision.
Replace unnatural combinations with standard expressions such as self-reliant, higher education, and depend on personal relationships.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences, but recurring errors with agreement, sentence boundaries, articles, and verb forms remain noticeable despite generally clear meaning.
Proofread for complete finite clauses, especially after linking words, and correct agreement and article errors in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
According to some people, we have become more independent in the modern world while others oppose this view and say that we have become more dependent on each other. What is your viewpoint on this issue? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.