According to some people, we have become more independent in the modern world while others oppose this view and say that we have become more dependent on each other. What is your viewpoint on this issue? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The often debated topic nowadays is whether the people should live an independent life or the dependency on other. In my opinion, people should have the capability to lead a life in both the way such that to have a successful life, which I will discuss in the following paragraph.
Firstly, the people should be able to manage any kind of situation with their own knowledge and capability without getting frightened or depressed. Every individual must have a will power to fight against a problem without seeking a help for others. When one develops such ability, he can face any challenges of his life; for example, when people are out from their hometown. We can’t seek help from our parents all time. Parents cannot guide in every step of your life so it’s important to make your own way in handling a situation.
On the other side, it’s not good to be an independent throughout the life. When you are introduced into a company you need to depend on others to get guidelines and support which make your work successful. For example, when you are given a task of developing software you need to work as a team to meet all necessity and finish up by the given schedule. Not only in a working area but also when you are old enough you are unable to do work of your own and it’s necessary to depend on others.
As per my view leading a dependent and independent life depends on the situation. Hence it would be better to introduce yourself to both.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural opening Original: Firstly, the people Suggested revision: First, people Why it matters: 'First' is sufficient as a sequence marker, and general 'people' takes no article.
- 2. Use parallel plural nouns Original: capability Suggested revision: abilities Why it matters: 'Abilities' naturally refers to the range of skills used in different situations.
- 3. Use uncountable noun Original: a will power Suggested revision: willpower Why it matters: 'Willpower' is an uncountable noun written as one word.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: fight against a problem Suggested revision: tackle a problem Why it matters: People tackle a problem rather than fight against it in this abstract context.
- 5. Fix article and preposition Original: seeking a help for others Suggested revision: seeking help from others Why it matters: 'Help' is uncountable here, and assistance comes 'from' other people.
- 6. Add the article Original: develops such ability Suggested revision: develops such an ability Why it matters: The singular countable noun 'ability' requires an article.
- 7. Fix number and preposition Original: face any challenges of his life Suggested revision: face any challenge in life Why it matters: After 'any', the singular noun is natural here, and challenges occur 'in' life.
- 8. Use natural location phrase Original: out from their hometown Suggested revision: away from their hometowns Why it matters: 'Away from' is the correct expression, and the plural agrees with 'people'.
- 9. Add the article Original: all time Suggested revision: all the time Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the definite article.
- 10. Add object and preposition Original: guide in every step Suggested revision: guide us through every step Why it matters: 'Guide' needs an object, and 'through' is the natural preposition for a process.
- 11. Keep pronouns consistent Original: of your life Suggested revision: of our lives Why it matters: The sentence begins with 'Parents' and should maintain the inclusive first-person perspective.
- 12. Use natural verb pattern Original: make your own way in handling Suggested revision: find your own way of handling Why it matters: The standard pattern is 'find a way of' doing something.
Suggested Rewrites
- Firstly, the people First, people
- capability abilities
- a will power willpower
- fight against a problem tackle a problem
- seeking a help for others seeking help from others
- develops such ability develops such an ability
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers a clear situational view that people need both self-reliance and support, with relevant examples from living away from home, teamwork, and old age. Its strongest feature is the balanced practical stance. However, it largely reframes the question as how people should live rather than whether modern society has become more independent or interdependent; prioritise analysing modern changes such as technology, specialised work, and global supply chains.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both independence and dependence are discussed with a clear opinion, but the response does not analyse whether modern society has actually become more of either.
Focus each body paragraph on evidence of historical or modern change and then decide which trend is stronger overall.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-part structure and contrasting body paragraphs provide broadly clear progression, although some references and transitions are mechanical or vague.
Begin each body paragraph with a claim about the modern-world trend and make every example directly support that claim.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the general topic, but frequent inaccurate collocations and repetitive wording restrict clarity and flexibility.
Use precise terms such as ‘self-reliance’, ‘interdependence’, ‘seek help from’, ‘work collaboratively’, and ‘meet a deadline’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually understandable, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, plurals, prepositions, pronouns, and clause construction limit control.
Use shorter sentence patterns and check noun phrases carefully, especially ‘both ways’, ‘help from others’, and ‘throughout life’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
According to some people, we have become more independent in the modern world while others oppose this view and say that we have become more dependent on each other. What is your viewpoint on this issue? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.