People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Sample Response
Getting admission in universities and colleges is the common way to fulfil the requirement of education in a professional manner. In this modern life, most of us have different reasons to join the tertiary education. In my opinion, the career preparation is the only reason, which forces young generation to get admission in higher education but we can not ignore the other reasons such as getting new experiences and new knowledge. In this modern era, the opportunity to get a good job is impossible without professional studies. Nowadays, the big companies only accept your application for a job if you have a related professional qualification. In contrast, twenty years ago the companies respected skills workers without their professional degrees. In 2007, British Home Office offered those professionals who had four years university degree and more than five years work experience in their field, in result government offered British citizenship. It is not the only reason, most of the young students have different thinking. On the other hand, getting new knowledge is another reason to enter a university for many. After completing secondary education, not all the students get admission for further education. But some of the graduates want advanced studies in the specific field to fulfil the requirement of their career. For instance, medical student after completion of their bachelor degree, they search for advanced knowledge such as cardiology and pathology. Finally, some skilled professional studies require more experience such as technical education which needs more experience so college only places to polish this type of skills. In short, we can not ignore any of the reason for getting involve in higher education but in current period career preparation is the most popular reason.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix admission phrase Original: Getting admission in universities and colleges Suggested revision: Gaining admission to universities and colleges Why it matters: The standard construction is 'gain admission to' an institution.
- 2. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The sentence describes one common method rather than a uniquely defined method.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: fulfil the requirement of education Suggested revision: meet educational requirements Why it matters: The revision expresses satisfying education requirements concisely and naturally.
- 4. Improve time expression Original: In this modern life Suggested revision: In modern life Why it matters: The demonstrative is unnecessary in this general time expression.
- 5. Fix education phrase Original: join the tertiary education Suggested revision: pursue tertiary education Why it matters: Education is pursued rather than joined, and the uncountable noun takes no article here.
- 6. Name the qualification Original: studies Suggested revision: qualifications Why it matters: 'Professional qualifications' matches the employment requirement described in the next sentence.
- 7. Use formal wording Original: the big companies Suggested revision: large companies Why it matters: 'Large companies' is more natural in formal academic writing and needs no generic article.
- 8. Correct application collocation Original: accept your application for a job Suggested revision: consider your job application Why it matters: Employers consider applications; accepting one implies the applicant has already been selected.
- 9. Fix adjective and wording Original: the companies respected skills workers Suggested revision: companies valued skilled workers Why it matters: 'Skilled' is the required adjective, and 'valued' conveys the intended employment preference.
- 10. Use additive linker Original: On the other hand Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: This sentence adds another reason rather than contrasting with the previous point.
- 11. Fix modifier placement Original: another reason to enter a university for many Suggested revision: another reason for many people to enter university Why it matters: Placing 'for many people' before the infinitive makes its relationship clear.
- 12. Use natural admission phrase Original: not all the students get admission Suggested revision: not all students gain admission Why it matters: The generic plural needs no article, and 'gain admission' is the standard expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- Getting admission in universities and colleges Gaining admission to universities and colleges
- the a
- fulfil the requirement of education meet educational requirements
- In this modern life In modern life
- join the tertiary education pursue tertiary education
- studies qualifications
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies several relevant motives for higher education, and career preparation receives some practical explanation. However, the position is internally inconsistent, examples are sometimes unclear or weakly connected, and presenting the whole essay as one paragraph obscures progression; frequent grammatical and collocational errors further reduce precision. The priority is to organise one reason per paragraph, explain each with a directly relevant example, and proofread sentence boundaries and noun forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question with several relevant reasons, but development is uneven and the claim that career is the only reason conflicts with later points.
State one consistent central answer and develop each reason with a clearly relevant explanation and example.
Coherence and Cohesion
A basic sequence is visible through linking phrases, but the single-paragraph format and several abrupt or unclear transitions weaken progression.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs with one controlling idea each.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient to discuss education and employment, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word-form choices limit precision.
Use natural combinations such as gain admission, skilled workers, and develop professional skills, and check each key noun phrase.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex structures, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, plurals, and sentence boundaries sometimes make meaning difficult.
Prioritise complete sentence structures and then check articles and singular-plural agreement in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.