People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Sample Response
To face the period of development, as people, we have to make competition with others for getting what we want and what we need. One thing that people can do is try to get high education. Nowadays people try to develop their abilities in colleges or universities. In reality, attending a university will help us to become great people in the future. There are two reasons why people have to attend a college or university, such as to reach the desired level and to satisfy their life.
Firstly, becoming a success person is a dream to all the people in this world. To reach our destination we definitely need to do something. We should make a sacrifice so that it happens. “Better education, better life”, is a motivation quote and will help us to build our spirit. People will have a huge opportunity if they have a good education. In my experience, there are some of my uncles who have prestigious jobs because they have higher education and degree. In reality, all companies need people who have higher qualifications related to their education to join their company.
Secondly, in life people need something that will make them satisfied. Satisfying in life is an important thing in people’s life, which can make them happy. Having the higher qualification in education and having a good job will make people useful for others. For instance, a child in a family when becomes a success person, s/he can make the parents proud and can give them happiness. They can also go to some tourism destinations for vacation or buy a house or invest for future, and so on.
In conclusion, attending a college or university is important because it will help us to face the period of development, to face how beautiful the world is, and most significantly: we can make people proud of us.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the opening Original: To face the period of development, as people, we Suggested revision: To succeed in a developing world, we Why it matters: The original phrase is not idiomatic and the parenthetical wording is unnecessary.
- 2. Use the correct verb Original: make competition with others Suggested revision: compete with others Why it matters: English uses the verb 'compete' rather than the phrase 'make competition'.
- 3. Use purpose infinitive Original: for getting what we want and what we need Suggested revision: to achieve what we want and need Why it matters: An infinitive expresses purpose naturally after the idea of competing.
- 4. Correct the collocation Original: get high education Suggested revision: obtain higher education Why it matters: 'Higher education' is the standard term for study at college or university.
- 5. Use precise wording Original: great Suggested revision: successful Why it matters: 'Successful' conveys the intended future achievement more precisely than 'great'.
- 6. Avoid false obligation Original: have Suggested revision: choose Why it matters: The essay discusses people's reasons for choosing university rather than a universal requirement.
- 7. State reasons clearly Original: such as to reach the desired level and to satisfy their life Suggested revision: namely, to achieve their goals and find satisfaction in life Why it matters: The original expressions are vague and do not form natural English collocations.
- 8. Use an appropriate metaphor Original: To reach our destination Suggested revision: To achieve our goals Why it matters: 'Destination' suggests a physical place, while the paragraph discusses success.
- 9. Use natural plural Original: make a sacrifice Suggested revision: make sacrifices Why it matters: The plural is the usual general expression for giving things up to achieve a goal.
- 10. Clarify the reference Original: so that it happens Suggested revision: to make this happen Why it matters: The revision gives the pronoun a clearer link to achieving the stated goal.
- 11. Remove empty construction Original: there are some of my uncles who have Suggested revision: some of my uncles have Why it matters: A direct subject-verb structure avoids the unnecessary existential clause.
- 12. Use the correct noun Original: Satisfying Suggested revision: Satisfaction Why it matters: 'Satisfaction' is the noun required as the subject of the sentence.
Suggested Rewrites
- To face the period of development, as people, we To succeed in a developing world, we
- make competition with others compete with others
- for getting what we want and what we need to achieve what we want and need
- get high education obtain higher education
- great successful
- have choose
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is strongest in its recognizable structure and sustained attempt to explain career success and personal satisfaction as reasons for higher education. Its main limitation is that these ideas remain repetitive, vague, and sometimes weakly connected to university attendance, while frequent language errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to build two clearly distinct reasons with specific causal explanation and express them in simpler, more accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers the question with two relevant reasons, but their development is repetitive, generalized, and partly unclear.
Explain separately how university supports career preparation and personal fulfilment, using one concrete example for each reason.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, although repetition and some vague references weaken cohesion within paragraphs.
Give each paragraph one precise controlling idea and remove sentences that repeat the same claim without advancing it.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to discuss education and success, but frequent word-form and collocation errors limit precision.
Use accurate combinations such as higher education, successful person, compete with others, and gain qualifications.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex sentences are attempted, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, word forms, and clause construction reduce control.
Prioritize accurate simple and compound sentences, then check every noun phrase for articles and every clause for a clear subject and verb.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.