People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Sample Response
Certain people think they attend colleges/universities to gain knowledge whereas some other people think to prepare for their career. Another set of people prefers to attend college to get new experiences. Universities dictate the society with the values present in education. Some people prefer to attend college to gain knowledge and apply their knowledge in their day to day life. These people choose a university to increase their knowledge only which is useful to the society and they are least bothered about the jobs or job market. Universities should produce knowledge-based professionals but not job seekers. People who got sufficient knowledge can overcome any issue in their daily life as well as career. My friend, sham came out of Hindu university with sufficient knowledge never worried about the career. He can easily transoms from one field to another with his vast knowledge what he gained from university. There is always the another side of the coin. Some people prefer to attend universities to increase their career chances as they are so much interested in a profitable career. And companies also prefer certain universities only to recruit for their openings. I selected Nehru University to do my post graduate in computers to attract top IT giants and it really worked for me. Some other sets of people choose universities to get new experiences and enhance their knowledge or to get suitable jobs for them. Ram, one of my state ministers choose a university to get experience in student politics and got successes in main politics also. In conclusion, I prefer to attend college to gain knowledge and not only career or experience only. People who gained knowledge in their core area always get successes in any other area.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use gain experiences Original: get Suggested revision: gain Why it matters: Gain experience is the natural collocation.
- 2. Use shape society Original: dictate the society Suggested revision: shape society Why it matters: Shape accurately expresses universities' influence, while dictate is inappropriate here.
- 3. Use values promoted Original: values present in education Suggested revision: values promoted through education Why it matters: The revised phrase clearly describes education transmitting social values.
- 4. Use present-tense gain Original: got Suggested revision: gain Why it matters: The essay makes a general claim, so the present tense is required.
- 5. Use plural possessives Original: daily life as well as career Suggested revision: daily lives as well as their careers Why it matters: The plural subject people requires distributive plural nouns and a possessive determiner.
- 6. Use transition Original: transoms Suggested revision: transition Why it matters: Transition is the verb meaning to move from one field to another.
- 7. Use relative that Original: with his vast knowledge what he gained Suggested revision: with the extensive knowledge that he gained Why it matters: A defining relative clause requires that rather than what after an expressed noun.
- 8. Remove definite article Original: the another side Suggested revision: another side Why it matters: Another already contains the indefinite determiner and cannot follow the.
- 9. Use career prospects Original: increase their career chances Suggested revision: improve their career prospects Why it matters: Improve career prospects is the standard collocation.
- 10. Specify recruitment object Original: recruit for their openings Suggested revision: recruit candidates for their vacancies Why it matters: Recruit requires a person as its object, and vacancies is the natural formal term.
- 11. Use postgraduate study Original: to do my post graduate in computers Suggested revision: to pursue postgraduate study in computing Why it matters: Postgraduate is an adjective here, and pursue study is the appropriate academic phrase.
- 12. Close appositive and agree Original: state ministers choose Suggested revision: state ministers, chose Why it matters: A comma must close the appositive phrase, and the past-tense verb agrees with Ram.
Suggested Rewrites
- get gain
- dictate the society shape society
- values present in education values promoted through education
- got gain
- daily life as well as career daily lives as well as their careers
- transoms transition
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies three relevant motivations for university attendance—knowledge, career preparation, and new experiences—and provides personal examples for each. Its strongest idea is that knowledge can support adaptability across careers, but the discussion is repetitive, entirely unparagraphled, and frequently obscured by inaccurate grammar and word choice. The highest-priority improvement is to organise one focused paragraph around each motivation and express the examples in clear, controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several relevant reasons are addressed and illustrated, but the preference for knowledge dominates the response and some examples are only loosely explained.
Give balanced explanation of how knowledge, career preparation, and new experiences each meet a distinct student need.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of motivations is broadly understandable, but the single-paragraph format, repetition, and abrupt transitions weaken overall progression.
Use an introduction, one paragraph per main reason, and a concise conclusion, with clear topic sentences marking each shift.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to discuss education and careers, but frequent repetition, incorrect word forms, and awkward collocations reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as 'broaden knowledge', 'improve career prospects', 'gain new experiences', and 'move between fields'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in tense, agreement, articles, relative clauses, and sentence boundaries often strain clarity.
Write shorter complete sentences and check each verb for tense and agreement before combining ideas with subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.