People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Sample Response
The university is a citadel for learning. It is a place where pupils of diverse cultures, ethnicities, backgrounds and religions come together with the major purpose of knowledge acquisition. However, some students enrol to better equip them for their future ambition, while others still attend to feel social status. My personal reason for attending colleges was to increase knowledge. Let us consider someone who comes to the college for the experience. I believe the intention, in this case, is not just to meet new friends because this can be done anywhere else. He wants to understand different behaviours and interact with persons from different areas, and various levels of intelligence. By so doing, he gradually imbibes knowledge at different levels and at different points. For instance, I know of a very good friend who always wanted to attend a higher institution. When I enquired as to the particular school he wanted, her reply was simple; “ I do not have any school in mind, all I want is to go get new experience and change my environment”. However, after four years in the university, I observed that her attitude, intelligence, abilities and sagacity has increased greatly. This shows me that the ultimate end of going to the university is to acquire knowledge. Also, for those who think that their reason for going to school is for career preparation. The statistics suggest that over 70% people who studied a particular course or discipline in Nigeria, do not end up practising the same course, and are never found along the career line throughout their lifetime. Evidence of various microbiologists who are now chief editors in newspaper agencies across the nation is the proof that university does not prepare students for a particular job. One of my idols studied petroleum engineering but he is currently working with the First Bank of Nigeria. In conclusion, a university for me is like a crucible, a furnace where minds are moulded with the fire of knowledge in other to adapt to the outside world. We may have different reasons why we enter the colleges and universities, but one thing and only but one thing is for sure, the core reason why people attend the university and college is to increase knowledge.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use university term Original: pupils Suggested revision: students Why it matters: Pupils usually attend school, whereas students is the appropriate term for university learners.
- 2. Use direct purpose phrase Original: with the major purpose of knowledge acquisition Suggested revision: primarily to acquire knowledge Why it matters: The revision expresses the purpose more directly and naturally.
- 3. Use reflexive pronoun Original: them Suggested revision: themselves Why it matters: The students perform the action for their own benefit, so a reflexive pronoun is required.
- 4. Use plural ambitions Original: ambition Suggested revision: ambitions Why it matters: The general reference to multiple students requires the plural countable noun.
- 5. Use status collocation Original: feel Suggested revision: gain Why it matters: People gain social status rather than feel it.
- 6. Use uncountable institution Original: colleges Suggested revision: college Why it matters: College is used without an article or plural when referring generally to the activity of higher education.
- 7. Use general college phrase Original: comes to the college Suggested revision: attends college Why it matters: Attend college is the natural expression for participating in higher education generally.
- 8. State purpose directly Original: for the experience Suggested revision: to gain experience Why it matters: The infinitive phrase clearly states the person's purpose for attending.
- 9. Use standard connector Original: By so doing Suggested revision: By doing so Why it matters: By doing so is the standard cohesive phrase referring to the preceding action.
- 10. Use knowledge collocation Original: imbibes Suggested revision: acquires Why it matters: Acquire knowledge is the appropriate formal collocation.
- 11. Clarify learning variation Original: at different levels and at different points Suggested revision: in different ways and at different stages Why it matters: The revision identifies the dimensions of variation more clearly without changing the claim.
- 12. Use close friend Original: a very good friend Suggested revision: a close friend Why it matters: Close friend is the natural collocation for a strong friendship.
Suggested Rewrites
- pupils students
- with the major purpose of knowledge acquisition primarily to acquire knowledge
- them themselves
- ambition ambitions
- feel gain
- colleges college
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear central view that knowledge acquisition underlies several reasons for university attendance, and it supports this interpretation with relevant personal and career examples. Its main limitation is that the entire discussion appears as one paragraph, while some claims and language choices are awkward or overstated. The highest priority is to divide the argument into focused paragraphs and express each reason with greater precision and grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with a clear central idea and relevant examples, although its claim that knowledge is the single ultimate reason is somewhat overstated.
Present two or three distinct reasons for university attendance and explain the value of each without forcing them all into one conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas move recognisably from experience to career preparation and then to a conclusion, but the absence of paragraphing and occasional fragments weaken organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for experience, career preparation, and the conclusion, with a clear topic sentence at each transition.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad vocabulary, including ambitious terms such as 'citadel', 'sagacity', and 'crucible', but several choices are unnatural or imprecise.
Prioritise accurate collocations such as 'gain knowledge', 'enhance career prospects', and 'gain social status' over unnecessarily ornate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted and meaning is generally clear, but agreement, pronoun, article, punctuation, and sentence-completion errors recur.
Check each complex sentence for a complete main clause and consistent agreement, especially where pronouns and singular subjects change.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.