People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Sample Response
College education is a highly revered benchmark around the world. In many countries, without a college level degree, a citizen is not considered eligible for state jobs. People attend colleges for many reasons but career preparation is the most important goal among them.
Most students enrol in colleges for bright career prospects and they study professional and job oriented courses. If achieved successfully with threshold scores, these courses increase the industrial employability of learners by training them with the skills industries need. For example, many companies organise direct campus selection programs in colleges, offering professional courses, to hire ready to utilise resources with rewarding salary packages. To add to this, in many cases, based on education, employees get different remuneration for the exact same job, and college education degrees play pivotal roles in accelerating promotion processes too.
On the other hand, in addition to scintillating future career opportunities, university education also offers many new experiences. These experiences include migration to new countries, befriending new people, working while studying, and, most importantly, learning to adjust with people. If we take a look at foreign students’ data across Europe, it is eminent that around 20 % students in Universities are from Asian countries. These experiences burgeon adaptability skills to pursuers and help in turning future paradigm citizens.
Some people also attend higher university courses to enhance knowledge. Students under this section mostly pursue challenging master and doctorate degrees in their fields. Most of these learners turn researchers and help the progress of the world. Some governments offer enticing whooping packages to the best minds to convince latter to select this study stream.
Finally, considering all reasons to attend colleges or universities, it is clear that the paramount reason is career growth. However, 'gaining new experiences' and 'enhancing knowledge' are also prodigious reasons.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify reference Original: goal among them Suggested revision: goal of these Why it matters: “Of these” clearly refers back to the several reasons just mentioned.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: bright Suggested revision: strong Why it matters: “Strong career prospects” is a more natural formal collocation.
- 3. Remove unnatural modifier Original: industrial employability Suggested revision: employability Why it matters: “Employability” already means suitability for work, so “industrial” is unnatural and unnecessary.
- 4. Correct verb pattern Original: training Suggested revision: equipping Why it matters: People are “equipped with” skills rather than “trained with” them.
- 5. Fix dangling phrase Original: based on education, employees get Suggested revision: depending on their qualifications, employees receive Why it matters: The revision makes the basis for remuneration clear and uses a more natural verb.
- 6. Remove redundant noun Original: college education degrees Suggested revision: college degrees Why it matters: “Education” is redundant because a college degree already denotes an educational qualification.
- 7. Use suitable adjective Original: scintillating future career opportunities Suggested revision: promising career opportunities Why it matters: “Promising” is the natural adjective for favourable future career opportunities.
- 8. Use natural phrase Original: migration Suggested revision: moving Why it matters: “Moving” is more natural for describing students' experience of relocating abroad.
- 9. Correct preposition Original: adjust with people Suggested revision: adjust to other people Why it matters: The verb “adjust” takes the preposition “to” in this meaning.
- 10. Correct word choice Original: eminent Suggested revision: evident Why it matters: “Evident” means clear, while “eminent” means distinguished or prominent.
- 11. Add percentage preposition Original: 20 % students Suggested revision: 20% of students Why it matters: A percentage followed by a noun requires “of,” and no space is needed before the percent sign.
- 12. Use lowercase noun Original: Universities Suggested revision: universities Why it matters: A common noun in the middle of a sentence should not be capitalized.
Suggested Rewrites
- goal among them goal of these
- bright strong
- industrial employability employability
- training equipping
- based on education, employees get depending on their qualifications, employees receive
- college education degrees college degrees
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay gives a clear answer and develops three relevant reasons for university attendance: career advancement, new experiences, and knowledge or research. Its strongest feature is the focused paragraph structure and detailed career discussion; the main limitation is frequent over-elaborate or inaccurate vocabulary, which makes several examples sound unnatural. The priority is to keep the same logical content while replacing inflated expressions with precise, idiomatic academic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Three relevant reasons are clearly identified and developed, with career preparation convincingly prioritized, although some supporting claims and statistics are broad or unsupported.
Use one credible, specific example for each reason and explain directly how it motivates attendance rather than relying on generalized figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through career, experience, and knowledge paragraphs to a consistent conclusion, with clear overall cohesion.
Replace “On the other hand,” which suggests opposition, with a transition that accurately introduces an additional reason.
Lexical Resource
A wide range is attempted, but frequent inflated or inaccurate choices such as “scintillating,” “eminent,” “burgeon,” and “paradigm citizens” reduce precision.
Prefer direct phrases such as “career opportunities,” “it is evident,” “develop adaptability,” “graduates,” and “generous funding.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence forms are generally clear, though recurring errors in articles, modifiers, countability, and complex noun phrases reduce accuracy.
Check forms such as “a college-level degree,” “job-oriented courses,” “20% of students,” and “master’s and doctoral degrees.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.