People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Sample Response
A complete consideration of people's views about whether to attend colleges or universities is difficult to present because they are so varied. Some would believe that continuing their education is a brilliant way of obtaining the best of both worlds gaining new acquaintances and securing a higher level of education, which might in the future, pave the way to a better job. I have developed my own perspectives as well. There are 3 reasons why I'm convinced that people decide to attend colleges. One absolutely cardinal reason is the fact that universities offer an opportunity to intensify knowledge in a particular field of your interest. On the contrast, high school educations tend to focus more on a board but a relatively shallow understanding of various subjects. Thus, the option of gaining expertise universities offer is certain to catch the eyes of students. The second reason is rooted in the fact that humans are social animals. Therefore, when surrounded by a group of friends all applying for admission to colleges, one might feel the impulsive urge to join. It is considerably hard to be persistence in one's own beliefs and perspectives. Equally essential to the previous two reasons concerning why people choose to continue their education is that a college degree is no longer considered to be "higher education", but rather "basic education". In this day and age, numerous companies regard bachelor degrees as the most basic and foremost requirement. When education level determines the chances of acquiring a job, it leaves you little choice but to keep on studying. By way of conclusion, whatever your choice may be, it is essential to think through all aspects before making a final decision.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Introduce paired benefits Original: best of both worlds gaining Suggested revision: best of both worlds: gaining Why it matters: A colon is needed to introduce the two benefits that follow.
- 2. Set off time phrase Original: which might in the future, pave Suggested revision: which might, in the future, pave Why it matters: The parenthetical time phrase requires commas on both sides.
- 3. Use singular viewpoint Original: perspectives Suggested revision: perspective Why it matters: The writer presents one overall viewpoint, so the singular form is appropriate.
- 4. Spell out small number Original: 3 Suggested revision: three Why it matters: Small numbers are conventionally written as words in formal prose.
- 5. Remove redundant intensifier Original: absolutely cardinal Suggested revision: main Why it matters: Cardinal already means fundamental, so absolutely is redundant.
- 6. Use direct reason clause Original: reason is the fact that Suggested revision: reason is that Why it matters: The fact that adds unnecessary wording.
- 7. Use knowledge collocation Original: intensify Suggested revision: deepen Why it matters: Deepen is the natural verb for increasing knowledge in a field.
- 8. Keep pronouns consistent Original: field of your interest Suggested revision: field that interests them Why it matters: The third-person plural pronoun matches people and avoids shifting to you.
- 9. Use correct contrast marker Original: On the contrast Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: By contrast is the correct linking expression.
- 10. Use uncountable education Original: educations Suggested revision: education Why it matters: Education is uncountable when referring to a level of schooling.
- 11. Correct breadth adjective Original: a board but a relatively shallow understanding Suggested revision: a broad but relatively shallow understanding Why it matters: Broad, not board, describes wide subject coverage.
- 12. Use natural attraction verb Original: catch the eyes of students Suggested revision: attract students Why it matters: Catch the eye normally refers to visual attention, not academic motivation.
Suggested Rewrites
- best of both worlds gaining best of both worlds: gaining
- which might in the future, pave which might, in the future, pave
- perspectives perspective
- 3 three
- absolutely cardinal main
- reason is the fact that reason is that
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay offers three distinct and relevant reasons for attending university: specialised knowledge, peer influence, and employment requirements. Its main limitation is that these ideas are presented in one dense block and are expressed through many inaccurate collocations and word forms, while the conclusion does not summarise the reasons. Use focused body paragraphs, explain each reason more concretely, and proofread ambitious vocabulary for naturalness and grammatical fit.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Three relevant reasons answer the question, but their development is uneven and the generic conclusion does not consolidate the response.
Add a concrete explanation or example for each reason and summarise the three motivations directly in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Numbered sequencing makes the line of thought identifiable, but the absence of paragraphs and several overloaded sentences reduce readability.
Give specialised study, social influence, and career requirements separate body paragraphs with clear topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad and ambitious vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and inaccurate word choices undermine precision.
Correct phrases such as “intensify knowledge,” “on the contrast,” “board understanding,” “catch the eyes,” and “be persistence.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of structures is attempted, but missing punctuation, faulty word forms, article errors, and awkward clause construction recur.
Separate long sentences clearly and check noun forms and agreement, including “bachelor’s degrees” and “persistent in one’s beliefs.”
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.