The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions.
Sample Response
The line graph compares the pulse ratesheart beats of two individuals – Mabel, a 36-year-old36 years old office worker, and Albert, a 26-year-old26 years old former college athlete, during their four-minutefour minute exercise period. Overall, office worker’s heart beat rate was lower before starting the exercise but in third and final minutes, his pulse rate was recorded higher. Turning to the detailsGetting back to the details, Mabel, who works in an office, has a pulse rate of about 65 beats per minuteroughly 62-65 per minute. Albert, by contraston the contrary, is a former college athlete who has a pulse rate of 80 per minute. Their pulse rates changed during the workout and after one minute both of their heart rateshealth beats became approximately 80. At the two-minute markWhen two minutes elapsed, Mabel’s pulse rate dramatically increased to around 150 while it was 120 for Albert. After three minutes of exercise, office worker Mabel’s pulse rateheart beating was recorded 100roughly 110 while the former athlete’s pulse rate was 110precisely 100. After four4 minutes, both pulse ratesboth of their pulse rate dipped and it was 60 for Albert while 80 for Mabel.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response follows the time sequence clearly and reports most plotted values accurately, including the contrasting starting rates, shared rise and final readings. However, it reverses Mabel’s and Albert’s values at minute three and repeats that mistake in the overview, while frequent agreement and word-form errors reduce control; prioritise an accurate overview of the minute-two peak and subsequent decline, then proofread compound modifiers and singular-plural forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most values are accurately covered across the full period, but the minute-three figures are reversed and the overview consequently misstates when Mabel’s rate was higher.
State that both rates peaked at minute two and then fell, with Albert higher at minute three but Mabel higher at minute four.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response proceeds clearly from the starting point through each minute, though its single paragraph and repetitive time markers limit structural clarity.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and group the rising phase separately from the post-peak decline.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a useful range of trend and pulse-rate vocabulary, despite awkward or inaccurate forms such as heart beats, health beats and heart beating.
Use pulse rate consistently and reserve verbs such as rose, peaked, fell and dipped for describing the plotted movement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writing includes varied sentence structures, but recurrent errors in compound modifiers, articles, pronouns and agreement reduce grammatical control.
Correct forms such as a 36-year-old worker, a four-minute period, the office worker’s rate and both pulse rates.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.