The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia.
Sample Response
The line graph gives information about overseas students from four countries living in Australia. In general, Indonesia and Hong Kong had a similar number of students staying in Australia over the 18-year period18 year periods.
Specifically, The numbersthe increasing number of overseas students from Indonesia and Hong Kong started atfrom the same level in 1982, at aboutin 1982 about 1,000 students. Both countries rose in the middle of the 1980s. Hong Kong peaked at about 19,000 in 1997Hong Kong reached a peak in 1998 before its figure fell and then rose againbefore it fell and rose again in 2000late 1999, while Indonesia's total peakedIndonesia experienced the highest point at about 26,000 studentsat almost 20,000 students after rising sharplyafter it fluctuated during the previous nine yearsduring the past 9 years.
Malaysia and Singapore, on the other hand, began at different levelsstarted at different points and gradually increased over the periodalong the periods. Malaysia declined in the late 1990sdropped once in 1998 before it rose again, whilst Singapore rose overall but dipped near the endremained steadily upwards.
From the data, it clearly seen that despite all the fluctuated and the fell down, the number of students from four countries keep increased for the rest of the eight-years periods.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure and traces the four national trends in a generally understandable sequence. However, the overview is weak, several peaks and dates are inaccurate, and Malaysia and Singapore receive little numerical support; frequent grammatical and collocational errors also reduce precision. Prioritise an accurate overview of the overall rise and final ranking, then support each country with carefully selected values from the graph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report identifies broad upward movement and some fluctuations, but the overview is not sufficiently informative and several key values and timings are inaccurate or omitted.
State the overall rise and Indonesia's clear final lead, then add accurate start, peak and end figures for all four countries.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and basic comparisons create a generally clear progression, although the final paragraph repeats rather than consolidates the main trends.
Organise the details into two coherent country groups and reserve the overview for the principal trends instead of repeating them at the end.
Lexical Resource
There is some useful trend vocabulary, but repetition and frequent inaccurate collocations such as remained steadily upwards and fell down limit precision.
Use controlled graph language such as rose steadily, peaked at, fell to and recovered to, with exact nouns for periods and figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and clause construction are noticeable throughout.
Focus on complete clause patterns and consistent past-tense forms, especially it is clearly seen, the number increased and after it fell.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.