The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Sample Response
The graph compares the proportion of the population aged 65 and overgrowth of population aged 65 and over in Japan, Sweden, and America from 1940 to 2040. According to the graph, it can be clearly seen that although initially Japan’s ageing population ratio was lower than that of Sweden and USA and will remain so till 2030. But it is predicted that elder people’s percentage in Japan will increases significantly afterwards.
Based on the graph, between 1940 and 1980, Japan’s elderly population remained at or below 5% of the total populationbelow 5% of total population in contrast to Sweden and the USAin contrast to Sweden and USA. Senior citizens in later two countries grew gradually above 10% respective to the overall population. When the elderly population percentages in Sweden and the USAWhen Sweden and USA’s elderly population percentages dipped slightly around 1990slightly dropped in 1990, Japan began a gradual riseJapan started to show an increase in its population aged 65 and over. Furthermore, in 2010Further, In 2010, the proportions in Sweden and Japan rose to about 20% and 7%, respectivelyelderly people in Sweden and Japan rose to 20% and 7% respectively while the USA’s percentageUSA’s percentage remained the same at approximately 14%i.e. 15% in that period. Despite Sweden’s temporary drop, the population of elders will keep going up dramatically, particularly after 2020 and will peak in 2040. After 2030, Japan’sAfter 2030 Japan’s elderly population percentage will more than doublewill grow more than double to about 27%to above 25% placing Japan firstand that will place Japan in the highest position in terms of share of people aged 65 and oversenior citizen ratio followed by Sweden (25%) and the USA (about 23%)USA (23%).
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response accurately captures the long-term patterns, including Japan's initially low share, Sweden's temporary decline, and Japan's projected surge to the highest level by 2040. The main weakness is grammatical and lexical control: many phrases confuse people with proportions, and agreement or sentence-boundary errors recur. Prioritise making percentages the grammatical subject and distinguishing clearly between historical data and future projections.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-selected figures accurately explain the major past and projected changes in all three countries.
Refine the 2010 figures as approximations and explicitly note that the United States remains broadly stable at about 14% until around 2020.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a focused overview and a logical chronological account with comparisons across the three countries.
Avoid splitting the overview's contrast into an incomplete 'although' sentence followed by 'But', and use clearer transitions between observed and projected periods.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of trend language is used, but several expressions for older people and population shares are awkward or imprecise.
Prefer 'the proportion aged 65 and over', 'rose gradually', and 'Japan is projected to have the highest share'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparisons are attempted, but agreement, sentence fragments, articles, possessives, and subject selection cause frequent errors.
Write complete structures such as 'Although Japan's figure was initially the lowest, it is projected to rise sharply after 2030'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Your response
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