The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.
Sample Response
The line graph outlines the production and demand for steel in million tonnes in the UK in 2010 and the number of workers employed in this sector. Generally speaking, the production of steel in the UK was higher than the demand and the number of workers also declined overallthe number of workers in this sector directly affected the production capability. At the beginning of 2010, steel production was about 4000 million tonnesthe demand for steel was 4000 million tonnes which was twice the actual demanddouble than the actual demand. The steel production and demand remained almost the same in Aprilin April remained almost the same in April. In August, at the end of the third quarter, demand was unchangedthe demand unchanged but the production dropped to just over 3000 million tonnes. The demand dramatically fell in November and at the end of the year, demand exceeded productionthe demand went higher than the production. During this time the demand for steel was 2000 million tonnes against less than 1000 million tonnes production. Steel production followed a broadly similar downward pattern to employmentThe production of steel is correlated with the employed workers in this sector. In January 2010, the steel industry in the UK employed 5 million workers and it went as high as roughly 5.8 million in February. From March to July, the number of workersthe workers’ number stood at an around 2.5 to 3.1 millionaverage 2 million and kept on declining from September till December. At the end of the year, the UK steel sector employed 1 million people.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers a recognisable overview, covers production, demand, and employment, and maintains a broadly understandable progression from steel figures to workforce changes. Its main limitation is accuracy: several values and series are confused, an unsupported causal link is asserted, and frequent grammar errors sometimes make the reporting hard to follow. Prioritise checking each line against the charts and reporting the three series separately before refining paragraphing and comparative sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers the three series and gives some correct broad features, including production generally exceeding demand and all measures falling by the end. However, several key figures are inaccurate or confused, the January demand and production values are reversed, and it asserts a causal link between workers and production that the charts do not prove.
Recheck each series against the visuals, report production, demand, and workers separately, and avoid claiming direct causation unless the graph explicitly shows it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The answer has an overview and then moves through steel figures before worker numbers. Progression is mostly understandable, but there is repetition, some unclear referencing, and no paragraphing.
Use one paragraph for production versus demand and a second for employment, with a concise overview before the details.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, but phrasing is sometimes imprecise or awkward, such as demand went higher than the production and workers' number. There is also confusion between production and demand terminology.
Use precise terms such as output, actual demand, workforce, exceeded, fell below, and stood at.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors occur with comparison forms, missing verbs, tense, and articles. Meaning is usually recoverable, but several sentences become inaccurate or hard to follow.
Check comparative structures, add missing auxiliary verbs, and use past tense consistently when reporting 2010 data.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graphs below show the production and demand for steel in million tonnes and the number of workers employed in the steel industry in the UK in 2010.
Your response
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