Societies benefit from the closer relationship we have with foreigners through international tourism and business. To what extent do your agree or disagree?
Sample Response
A society is an amalgamation of different people with different cultures. The impact on a society depends on the influence of various people with different cultures. Societies have a bigger impact with the effect of foreign investments and tourism, foreign businesses being globalisation involves businesses from different foreign countries to be established in different parts of the world.
The establishment of a domestic firmSetting up of a native firm in another country creates an environment for exchangean atmosphere of sharing; the sharing of businesses involving manufacturing operations in other countriesmanufacturing units in other parts provides opportunities forto various people in a society. For instance, people arrivingcoming in other countries due to globalisation directly impact their culture through their way of lifeby the way of their lives and lifestyle. Due to globalisation, peopleDue to globalisation people have the option to choose from a wide varietywould have options to choose wide verities of products that meet their needsproducts they need. If we consider the impact of globalisation, people in one country have the choice to taste other products of another world, this way globalisation helps in having a diversified culture in a society.
Secondly, the impact of the relationship with international tourism if elucidated can have a wide role in the society too, tourism makes different people of different cultures to different areas. The people in the tourism-dominated areas are definitely affected by foreign visitors' lifestylesthe lifestyle of the foreigners, residents of tourism-dominated areas trythe people in tourism-dominated areas try to adopt aspects of that lifestyleimitate and follow the lifestyle and they also try to learn the languages they speaklanguages spoken by them. For example, people living in a tourism-dominated area such as Kerala in Indiapeople living in a tourism-dominated area like Kerala in India, people can understand English and are conversant with the language; this is mainly due to the influence, this is mainly due to the influence of tourism in that area.
To conclude, itTo conclude it is my strong opinion that societies benefit from the relationship with international businesses and tourism but the benefit should be limited to the adoption of positive aspectsthe transposition of good aspects.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear agreement and relevant focus on two benefits: wider economic opportunities through international business and cultural or linguistic exchange through tourism. Its main limitation is clarity, as ideas are repeated in vague terms and frequent grammatical and collocational errors obscure cause and effect; the highest-priority improvement is to express each benefit in a short, precise chain supported by one focused example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and both international business and tourism are addressed with relevant benefits and an example, though development is uneven and sometimes generalized.
Explain one specific societal outcome from foreign investment and one from tourism, then connect each directly to the claim that society benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a logical introduction, two thematic body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but repetition and long comma-linked sentences weaken progression.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and replace repeated references to “different people” and “society” with clear pronouns or specific groups.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss globalisation, investment, tourism, and culture, but frequent inaccurate choices such as “wide verities” and “transposition” limit precision.
Use “a wide variety,” “cultural exchange,” “foreign companies,” and “adopt positive aspects.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally recoverable, but agreement, articles, prepositions, relative structures, and comma splices cause frequent errors.
Use shorter complete sentences and correct patterns such as “people coming from other countries,” “offers opportunities,” and “tourism brings people.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Societies benefit from the closer relationship we have with foreigners through international tourism and business. To what extent do your agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.