Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Celebrities have always been a subject of fascination for people around the world. However, in recent years, the focus on celebrities has shifted from their accomplishments to their luxurious lifestyles and wealthglamorous lifestyle and wealth. This has raised concerns that celebrities may setThis has raised concerns among many that it may set a negative example for young people. For several reasonsDue to several reasons, I partlywill disagree with this view.
Some celebrities are more famous for their wealth and glamour than their achievements. Many young people today aspire to be like these celebrities and try to copyemulate their lavish lifestyles. For example, young girls idolize famous models and actresses who flaunt their designer clothes, expensive jewellery, and luxurious vacations on social media. This can create unrealistic and unhealthy expectationsThis creates unrealistic and unhealthy expectations among young people.
However, it is not entirely fair to blame celebrities for setting a bad example for young people. Many celebrities have worked hard to achieve success, and their wealth and glamour are merely the by-productsbyproducts of their achievements. For instance, athletes who have trained rigorously for years and have won medals and trophies deserve to enjoy the fruits of their labour. LikewiseSimilarly, successful entrepreneurs who have built successful businesses through their hard work and dedication should be able to enjoy their wealth.
In my opinion, the problem lies not with celebrities themselves but with the waynot with celebrities but with the way the media portrays them. The media often focuses on their luxury and public imageglamorous lifestyle and wealth, rather than their achievements, to attract more viewers and readers. This has resulted in the perception that celebrities are famous only for their wealth and glamour. Therefore, media organisations have a responsibilityit is the responsibility of the media to shift the focus back to the achievements of these celebrities and highlight the hard work and dedication that went into their success.
In conclusion, it may be true that some celebritiesa few celebrities are more famous for their assets and glamour than their achievements, which can set a negative example for young people. However, this is not the complete pictureit is not the whole picture as manymost celebrities work hard to gain fame and success.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a thoughtful, well-developed position, balancing the harmful influence of celebrity glamour against the role of achievement and media framing, with clear logical progression. Its main limitation is occasional awkward or repetitive wording, especially around the thesis and recurring references to wealth and glamour; the priority is to state the degree of disagreement precisely and sharpen topic sentences while varying key vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the statement, takes a mostly disagreeing position, and presents a balanced argument: some celebrities do create harmful expectations, but media framing is the bigger problem. Ideas are relevant and well developed, though the introduction could state the extent of disagreement more naturally.
State the degree of agreement in one precise sentence, such as I partly disagree because media portrayal matters more than celebrity behaviour itself.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well organised with clear paragraphing and logical progression from concession to counterargument to media responsibility. Referencing is generally controlled, though a few topic sentences could be more explicit.
Make each body paragraph’s role unmistakable: concession, counterargument, and main opinion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and appropriate, including accomplishments, emulate, unrealistic expectations, rigorously, byproducts, and perception. Some phrasing is slightly awkward or repetitive, especially wealth and glamour.
Reduce repeated key words by using alternatives such as public image, luxury, fame, and material success where appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is accurate overall, with good control of complex sentences. Minor issues include awkward phrasing in the thesis and occasional article or number choices.
Polish thesis sentences and check whether singular nouns such as lifestyle need plural or article adjustments.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.