Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?
Sample Response
When it comes to school age, there are some people who believe that it is betterit is better manner for young childrenthe young children to stay home until they are six or sevenuntil their six or seven. By contrastOn the contrary, in others' opinionin others opinion, the earlier children start school, the more benefits they may gainthe more school age would be earlier, the more benefits children would achieve. In today's societyIn today`s lifestyle, it seems that the second group followsfollow the appropriate strategy because of some considerable benefits as followsmerits as bellow.
In a fast-changing worldAccording to the fast-changing world in which we livewhere we are living in, developing effective communication skillsshaping accurate communications for children plays a vital role in their future liveslife. Starting school at an earlier ageStarting to go to school in earlier age could help children benefit fromcontribute to benefit from the high learning potential at this stage of lifehigh potential of this period of life.
Thanks to the fact that today, children`s abilities in many fields are gradually increasing, due to the widespread improvements in living conditionswidespread improvement in life conditions ranging from nutrition and health to education methods, children develop useful abilitiesthey acquire suitable abilities atfrom earlier ages, in comparison with the past. Therefore, parents who are aware of thisthe parents being aware of this could help their children progress fasterlead their children to faster progresses.
As one other advantage of decreasing school age, it could be mentioned that the average age of the academic social would decrease. As a result, the young would achieve more opportunities to gain valuable experiencemake beneficial experiences for their career life.
In conclusion, it seems that nowadays, the school age has decreased and this change generally has resulted in improvement in the young`s relations abilities, their faster progress in knowledge and making more successful future in the field of work.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a favourable view of early schooling and identifies communication, faster learning, and future opportunities as possible benefits. Its main limitation is development: the claims remain abstract, some connections to attending school are unclear, and frequent language errors make parts difficult to interpret. Prioritise two concrete benefits, explaining how school produces each one and supporting them with specific classroom or social examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several potential advantages are identified and a positive position is maintained, but the ideas are briefly asserted and sometimes only loosely connected to early school attendance.
Develop two clear benefits, such as social communication and foundational learning, with a specific mechanism and example for each.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response uses a logical introduction-body-conclusion structure and visible paragraphing, though short underdeveloped paragraphs and mechanical transitions limit progression.
Combine related claims into two substantial body paragraphs with clear topic sentences and explanation before moving to the next advantage.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts varied academic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations make several ideas unclear.
Replace phrases such as 'academic social,' 'faster progresses,' and 'relations abilities' with 'school community,' 'faster progress,' and 'communication skills.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence patterns are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, possessives, agreement, comparison, and clause construction often impede clarity.
Use shorter subject-verb-object sentences and carefully check possessives, articles, and comparative structures before adding subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.