Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
There is a controversial fact that whether there should be fixed punishments for crimes or the factors that might lead the crime should be taken into consideration, while penalties for crimes are detected. In my opinion, to achievedecide justice both approaches are requiredboth of them are required. The circumstances surrounding the crimeThe circumstances brought about the crime should play a role in reducing the penaltyplay a role to slight the penalty or increasingdeteriorate the punishment.
Some people believe that each crime should be performed as a specific punishment that serves to implement justice in a society. Under this systemIn this practice, each person who commitsdid the same crime receives a standard punishmentis punished as a standard punishment. For instance, the penalty for forgery is fixedthe penalty of forgery is a standard for every person. Every thief, whether a child or an adultchild or adult does not matter, is convicted in the same way.
On the other hand, another group of people think that each criminal caseeach occasion related to crime is different from one another. TheBecause psychology and circumstances of the offenderposition of guilty, environmental factors and causes and consequences of the crimereasons and results of the crime affect the harm caused by the crime tothe damage of the crime on people or society. Accordingly, these factorssuch mentioned factors should influence the level of punishmentshould be detectable on the level of punishment. For instance, if a person causes a traffic accident by a mistake, his position, his regret and his emotional situation should be evaluated, when the penalty is assigned.
I personally think that each crime should be assessed specifically and fixed crimes detected beforehand should be able to extend or lessen. Thanks to that, the intentions lied down behind the crime could be thought while deciding the crime of a guilty. Otherwise, thieving a piece of bread because of hungry will have the same position with a theft who stole many pieces of bread to sell in another place to earn money.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay addresses both approaches to punishment, states a combined position, and uses relevant examples to distinguish fixed penalties from case-specific decisions. Its main limitation is that ideas are expressed through persistently inaccurate vocabulary and grammar, which sometimes obscures the intended reasoning. Prioritise clear legal terms and simple, controlled sentences when explaining how a standard sentence could be adjusted for circumstances.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are addressed with relevant examples, although the rationale for combining fixed and flexible punishments is only partly developed.
Explain a workable principle in which each offence has a standard starting penalty that judges can adjust for motive and circumstances.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and contrasting sequence are clear, but some connections within sentences and between claims are difficult to follow.
Give each paragraph one explicit central claim and connect the example directly to that claim with a complete explanatory sentence.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts a range of crime and justice vocabulary, but frequent incorrect word choices substantially reduce precision.
Use accurate combinations such as 'impose a sentence', 'mitigating circumstances', 'aggravate an offence', and 'the offender's motivation'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of structures is attempted, but frequent errors in clauses, articles, verb forms, and comparisons sometimes impede readability.
Write shorter complete sentences and proofread each one for a clear subject, finite verb, and grammatically complete comparison.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.