Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
There is no doubt that crime rates have dramatically increased over the last few years. Some criminals managed to becomemanaged themselves to become good human beings during their stay in prisonwhile their stay in prisons. One of the reasons is that they have directly experiencedpractically seen the problems and sacrificessacrifice they had to make. Some people argue that these are the best people to raise awarenessbest examples of creating awareness about crime among teenagersabout crimes in teenagers. However, others state that a person with a criminal background will not leave lasting impressions on people's mindsindispensable impressions on people minds.
Firstly, it is the government's dutyduty of government and the people to identify the causes of teenage crimeaspects of crimes in teenagers. After that, there should be workshopsworkshop and seminars which should highlight the consequences of committing crimes. It is also the responsibility of parents and guardiansguardian to monitorhave an eye on their children’s activities. While making a little effortmaking little efforts, one can preventsave many criminal activities in their surroundings.
Secondly, people who were involved in wrongdoingthe part of immoral doings and became good citizens after prison could help teenagers in eradicating this sort of wrongdoingthis short of sins. They have personally experienced all the suffering they had to go through after committing crimesafter compelling crime. They know the possible reasons why and howpossible reason, why and how youngsters get involved in such cruel doings. Their worlds would leave undeniable impressions on people minds and will help to eliminate crime from the society.
Finally, I strongly believe that once a criminal is not always a criminal. If one has regret about his past and has changed himself should be treated like a normal human being. Furthermore, they could help teenager from remaining away crimes while telling them about their sacrifice of time, health and family.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is a clear eventual position that reformed former prisoners can warn teenagers through credible first-hand experience. Its main limitation is uneven relevance and development: a full paragraph shifts to general government and parental crime prevention, while the central claim is supported mostly by assertion rather than a concrete mechanism or example. Prioritise focusing every paragraph on why reformed offenders are especially effective speakers.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay expresses agreement and gives a relevant experiential reason, but the position arrives late and substantial space is spent on general prevention rather than the specific claim about the best speakers.
State the degree of agreement in the introduction and develop how an offender’s testimony changes teenage attitudes, supported by a concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and sequencing markers create a recognisable structure, but the first body paragraph is weakly connected to the thesis and progression between ideas is sometimes abrupt.
Make each body paragraph support the central comparison, first explaining credibility and then showing the practical impact on teenagers.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts crime-related vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate phrases such as “managed themselves,” “indispensable impressions,” “immoral doings,” “short of sins” and “compelling crime” obscure precision.
Use direct terms such as “reformed,” “lasting impression,” “criminal behaviour,” “such offences” and “committing a crime.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in articles, plurals, agreement, relative structures and sentence construction occur throughout and sometimes make relationships difficult to follow.
Build shorter subject-verb sentences and check forms such as “workshops and seminars,” “parents and guardians,” and “a person who regrets his past.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.