In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Sample Response
The job of a supervisor requires a lot of preparation and a strong commitmentthe strong attitude to maintainingat caring about the quality of work. The most relevant qualities of a supervisor will be analysedanalised in the following paragraphs, supported by specific details and examples. Firstly, one of the most important characteristics of a supervisor is a thorough understandingthe perfect comprehension of the nature and dynamics of the work he has to managemanage with. Furthermore, the supervisor is a manager who leads the work of a group of people, so he has to be understanding about errorscomprehensive on errors and at the same time he must not losehe has not to lose controlthe control over his subordinates, letting them make irreparable mistakesdo unrepairable mistakes. That's a really challenging task that I'm experiencing this yearthis current year as the person responsible forlike responsible of a group of research which represents the University of Padova in a European competition called Solar Decathlon.
Another fundamental quality that makes a good supervisor is the ability to assess fairlycapacity of judging equally all the subordinates' workworks, instead of showing preference forbeing preferential towards those whothe ones which agree more closely with his ideasrespect more his ideas. The quality also includes his/her focus on deadlinesfocus to the deadline and attaining excellence in the team. Supervising a group of people under strict ruleswith a strict rule is not always possible and stronger leadershipmore leadership quality, in this case, is essential. Being able to keep balance in the team and observing the progress while learning from the past mistakes three other qualities each good supervisor should have. In conclusion, a supervisor has to be fully knowledgeable aboutperfectly acknowledged on the tasks he's working with and he has to be a strict but fair leadera leader strict but right at the eyes of his subordinates.
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response has a recognizable essay structure and develops several points about effective supervision with generally understandable progression. Its decisive limitation is that it does not address the assigned question about the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, so none of its content fulfils the task. The highest priority is to identify every part of the prompt and build the entire response around relevant benefits and drawbacks.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response is wholly unrelated to the required discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of a gap year.
Answer the actual prompt by developing relevant advantages and disadvantages for young people who work or travel before university.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response uses a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with broadly logical progression despite some awkward internal links.
Give each body paragraph one sharply defined main idea and use referencing and transitions more naturally within it.
Lexical Resource
There is some range for discussing leadership, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Use natural combinations such as understanding the work, tolerate mistakes, treat staff fairly, and knowledgeable about the tasks.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main meaning, but recurring article, preposition, agreement, and clause errors weaken control.
Prioritize accurate sentence construction and edit each complex sentence for missing verbs, articles, and correct prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.