Some people say that international sporting events contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
International sporting events, such as the Olympics and the World Cup, have become an integral part of the global sporting communitythe global community of sports and fans. Many people argue that these events not only promote friendly competition and national pride but also contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. I strongly agree with this view, and I will explain whyin this essay, I will elaborate on the reasons why.
Firstly, international sporting events provide a platform for nations to come together and showcase their talents and achievements. This can help fosterhelp to foster positive relationships between countries, promoting a sense of unity and cooperation. For example, the 2018 Winter Olympics held in Pyeongchang, South Korea, helped to ease tensions between North and South Korea, leading to a historic meeting between the two countries' leadersthe two country's leaders.
Secondly, these events have the power to inspire and unite people, transcending linguistic, cultural, and political differencestranscending language, culture, and political differences. The shared experience of watching and supporting one's team or national sidewatching and supporting one's team or country can create a sense of common purpose and identity, helping to overcome conflicts and misunderstandings. This was evident during the 2010 World Cup held in South Africa, where the tournament brought together a divided nation and helped to heal the wounds of apartheid.
Finally, international sporting events can also promoteserve as a platform for promoting peace and social justice. For example, the Olympics and the Paralympics have a tradition of promoting human rights and equality, while the FIFA World Cup has been used as a platform to raise awareness about social issues such as racism and poverty.
In conclusion, international sporting events are an important meanstool for promoting peace and stability in the world. They provide a platform for nations to come together, inspire and unite people, and promote peace and social justice. Therefore, it is important to continue to support these eventssupport and encourage these events, as they have the potential to bring about positive change in the world.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay offers a clear, consistent position and supports it with relevant international examples in a fluent, easy-to-follow progression. Its main limitation is that the final argument about social justice is briefer and less directly connected to global peace and stability than the preceding points. The highest-priority improvement is to analyse that connection more explicitly while reducing repeated wording around platforms, promotion, and unity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The task is fully addressed with a consistent position and relevant supporting examples, though the final main idea is less fully developed.
Explain precisely how advocacy for human rights and equality produces peace or stability rather than leaving the connection implied.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses clearly through distinct supporting reasons, with effective paragraphing and generally smooth cohesion.
Use less formulaic sequencing and build a stronger logical bridge between the social-justice paragraph and the central claim.
Lexical Resource
A strong range of topic-appropriate vocabulary conveys ideas precisely, although several key terms and phrases are repeated.
Vary repeated expressions such as platform, promote, and come together while preserving their precise meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with strong control, and only occasional minor errors are evident.
Proofread possessive forms and noun agreement carefully, especially constructions such as references to two countries and their leaders.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that international sporting events contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.