In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?
Sample Response
Deciding whetherDeciding on whether to stay with family until you get married or to leave for education or work is a difficult question. While there are advantages to both options, I believe that living separately is more beneficial. This is due to the fact that it is important to become self-sufficientefficient at athe young age.
On the one hand, living with family has certain financial benefits. If a young person wants to live separatelyIf you like to live separately it would requireit would require a lot of financial resources and some families could save a lot of money if children stayed. Moreover, livinglife with parents wouldn't be as stressful as it would be if they lived aloneif you live alone. You will have enough time to find the job you want or to start up your own business. However, the main point in this arrangementin such tradition is that children could be protected from poorimproper decisions. If they live with their families, they are not responsible for their families or jobs and they do not need to maketake major decisions as parents would mostly do that.
There are several advantagesA number of advantages take place when a person decides to live independently from his family. For example, people who go abroad to study at prestigious and honourable universities will probably have more job opportunities and a higher annual salaryhigher annual salary. Living separately is also a great step in creating a family because no one will interfere in your relationshipsinterfere your relationships or give unwanted advicegive pieces of advice. Lastly, it is an essential step in young people's liveslife and this is the only way to be prepared for adult lifegrown-up life. This is when decisions have to be made and possible mistakes become your own burden.When decisions have to be made and possible mistakes would only be your burden.
In conclusion, although living with parents is simple and effortless, it is crucial to leave your comfort zone at a certain age, to be ready for facing real-life difficultiesfacing real life difficulties.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains a clear preference for independent living while considering the financial and emotional benefits of remaining with parents, and its logical paragraphing makes the argument easy to follow. Some claims are not explained sharply enough, and inaccurate collocations, conditional control, and a sentence fragment reduce precision. Prioritise making the comparison more explicit by showing exactly why independence outweighs staying at home, while revising awkward phrases and incomplete clauses.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay clearly argues that living separately has more advantages, while still covering benefits of staying with parents. The ideas are relevant and generally developed, though some claims need sharper explanation.
Explain more directly why independence outweighs the financial and emotional advantages of staying at home.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is well paragraphized and progresses logically from both options to the candidate's view, with generally effective linking.
Improve cohesion by replacing vague phrases such as such tradition and a number of advantages take place with clearer references.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is fairly flexible, including financial benefits, job opportunities, and comfort zone, but there are some inaccurate collocations and word choices.
Use natural phrases such as self-sufficient, at a young age, make major decisions, interfere in relationships, and adult life.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar control is generally good, but errors remain in conditionals, articles, prepositions, and sentence fragments.
Revise conditional sentences and make sure dependent clauses are attached to complete main clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.