Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Same questionCompare 6 different answers (Band 5–7)

Sample Response

1

There are considerable debate overmany disputes over the high salaries of top athletesthe top sports people. Although reasons can be given to argue that this is unjustifiedreasons can be given to unjustified this, personally I believe that sports professionalsprofessional deserve thesethis high wages. Many people believe that top sports persons earn more money than they deservetoo much money that they don’t deserve due to two main reasons. First,First reason: people believe that sports professionalsprofessional do not provide a vital service to communities like other important professionalsprofessional do. Football players, for example, earn enormous salaries by simply kicking a ball is something they often refer. Second,The second reason: while life would be difficult without doctors, engineers and other vital professionals, people could all live happily without professional sports starsstar. On the other hand, I would argue that there are many reasonscauses to support the high income in sport. Firstly, people who reach the highest level in sport must be highly skilled and talented. They trainThey take training and practise every day to reach this level of professionalism. So, Hard working and dedicated workers deserve high wages. Secondly, sports professionals arethe sports professional is more susceptible to serious injury. If they get hurt, they need more money to recoverrecovery and support their families during recoverysupport their families meanwhile. Also, they will not be playing the sports they play for the rest of their liveslife. Most athletes retire after the age of forty or sometimes even earlier. Finally, sports salaries are only high because sports fans are willing to pay a great deal of moneypay much money to watch their favourite stars. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against sports professionals' high salariessports professional high salaries, but I believe that they deserve the salaries they currently earn.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response’s strongest feature is its clear coverage of both positions, supported by several relevant reasons and a consistent personal opinion. Its main limitation is that frequent grammatical and collocational errors, together with single-paragraph presentation, weaken precision and fluency; the highest-priority improvement is to organise the views into distinct paragraphs and carefully edit agreement, noun forms, and sentence construction.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.5
Scoring rule

Both views and a clear opinion are addressed with relevant reasons, although some supporting claims are brief or insufficiently examined.

Next step

Develop fewer arguments more fully by explaining why each reason justifies or challenges the salary difference.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

5.5
Scoring rule

The overall movement from the opposing view to the writer’s view is clear, but the single paragraph and mechanical labels weaken organisation.

Next step

Use separate introduction, viewpoint, and conclusion paragraphs with smoother transitions instead of colon-led list markers.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.5
Scoring rule

There is sufficient topic vocabulary to discuss salaries, skills, injuries, and retirement, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce control.

Next step

Replace awkward phrases with precise forms such as “justify this,” “undergo training,” and “money for recovery.”

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

The response attempts varied sentence forms, but frequent agreement, article, plural, and clause-construction errors are noticeable throughout.

Next step

Prioritise subject–verb agreement and noun-number accuracy, then revise malformed clauses into complete, controlled sentences.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your response

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