Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It is often argued that the main purpose of tertiary educationtertiary education’s main purpose is to enhance students’ employment prospects, while others arguewhile others would say that there are broader benefits for individuals and societybroader advantages to society as a whole. This essay disagrees that the primary goal of third-level education should be to get learners on the career ladder and there are far more important benefitsperks to consider. It is clear that a degree can help graduates secure better jobsdoes help someone get a better job to some extentto a certain extent, but it by no means guarantees one. Since the financial crisis of 2008, most graduates2008 most graduates workfind themselves working in jobs that do not require a university education, including roles in manual labour or customer servicesuch as manual labour or customer service. It is for this reason that this essay believes that going to university solely to improve theiryour career opportunities is illogical. The Sunday Times recently reported a survey that found 67% of graduates in 2010 were working in jobs that required no qualifications beyond high school. The real benefits surpass individual benefitsindividualistic considerations and help society both socially and economically. Areas that have world class institutions like San Francisco and Cambridge consistently rank as having the highest standards of living on the planet. This essay therefore believes that these factors trump increased job opportunities as the primary purpose of higher education. For instance, the area around Stanford University is not only home to Apple, Facebook and Google, but also world-leading schools, hospitals and civic facilities. To conclude, although colleges can lead to increased career prospects, this should not be considered the be all and end all, and instead we should consider the socio-economic benefits that make seats of higher learning so valuable to their communities.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear position and uses specific examples to build a persuasive contrast between employment outcomes and wider social value. Its principal weakness is organisation: the entire argument appears as one paragraph, obscuring the shift between the two views and the conclusion, while broader individual benefits receive limited attention. The priority is to separate the argument into purposeful paragraphs and develop that missing dimension.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and a clear opinion is sustained with relevant examples, but the wider benefits to individuals are not substantially developed.
Add a distinct explanation of how university education benefits individuals beyond employment, such as intellectual growth or informed citizenship.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically and references are generally clear, but presenting the introduction, both arguments, and conclusion in one paragraph weakens organisation markedly.
Divide the response into an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion so each stage of the argument is immediately visible.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging, flexible, and generally precise, with only occasional choices that are slightly informal or overstated.
Prefer consistently academic wording in place of expressions such as 'perks' and 'be all and end all'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and fluently, with only minor lapses that do not impede communication.
Refine occasional awkward coordination and maintain precise tense choices when describing developments continuing from a past date.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.