In June 1996, an experimental flu vaccine was trialled in a large country town on females only. The result of this survey is presented in the following illustration.
Sample Response
The illustration outlines the outcome of a flu vaccine trial among females in a largebig town in June 1996. Overall, the experimental flu vaccine was not effective for the female participantsin terms of its result on females. The diagrams reveal that fluflue rate was generally higher among women than among menamong women than that of men in 1996. From April 1996 to June 1996, the number of infected peopleinfected people’s number rose sharplyincreased swiftly and more females contracted flu than malesmore female became vulnerable to the flu than that of men. At the beginning of June, the number of male flu casesnumber of male patients was approximately 2,700somewhat 2500 compared to 3,500 female cases3500 females whenat which point the injection was tested among women. Though it might seem that the flu contamination among female decreased afterwards, the overall flu rate among males gives a different scenario. During August until the end of the year, around 2500 females were recorded to have flue while this number was a thousand fewer for males. Interestingly, only one womanonly 1 female died from flu fromduring March to May 1996, but after the vaccination, the number of deaths rosethe death case rose – four female and two male deaths4 female and 2 male death cases were recorded between June and August. Finally, almost a quarter of female child and 35% elder females were at risk despite the immunization. 13% needed medical attention while just over a quarter who did not receive the injection were also at risk.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers all three visuals and correctly identifies the higher female flu rate, the death totals, and the main risk percentages. Its main limitation is an incomplete and occasionally inaccurate synthesis of the trends: the male series also fell after June, while the August-to-December figures are overgeneralised. Prioritise a fuller overview and precise comparisons of both peaks and subsequent declines before adding interpretation about vaccine effectiveness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response addresses all three visuals and reports several key figures accurately, but its overview is narrow and some trend comparisons are imprecise or misleading.
Summarise the June peaks and subsequent declines for both sexes, then compare the death and risk charts without unsupported conclusions about effectiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information moves through the line, bar, and pie charts in a generally logical order, although the single dense paragraph and vague linking weaken progression.
Separate the overview and detail groups, and replace vague references such as "different scenario" with explicit comparisons.
Lexical Resource
There is enough topic vocabulary to describe trends and risk, but repeated spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision.
Use accurate forms and collocations such as "flu", "number of cases", "female patients", and "deaths".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main meaning, but agreement, article, plural, and comparative errors recur throughout.
Proofread noun phrases and comparisons, especially "more females than males" and "four female deaths", while keeping complex sentences clearly controlled.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
In June 1996, an experimental flu vaccine was trialled in a large country town on females only. The result of this survey is presented in the following illustration.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.