The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Sample Response
The given bar graph depicts the average number of hoursaverage hours of unpaid work done per weekdone in a week by different categories of married peopledifferent categorised people namely married women and mensuch as married women and men without children, with one or two childrenwithout children, with 1-2 children and with three or more children.with more than 3 children. Overall,The first point to note is that men diddo almost the same number of hours of unpaid workalmost an equal number of hours of work in all three categories.
Men occupied with unpaid works around 18 hours per week in the given groups. On the other hand, women of the given two categories were engaged with 3 fold hours of men’s unpaid work. That is 50 and 55 hours per week by married women with 1-2 children and with more than 3 children respectively. By comparisonInterestingly, married women without children didhave done about half as much as women with three or more childrenalmost half of it that is 30 hours per week.
To sum up, it is clear from the graph that married women didwere doing more hours of unpaid work than married mencompared to married men regardless of how many children they hadirrespective of their number of children.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly identifies the main gender contrast and the near-constant male workload, and it reports most figures accurately. Its central weakness is task fulfilment: no reasons are suggested despite the explicit instruction, and the figure for women with three or more children should be about 60 rather than 55 hours. Add plausible, clearly signposted reasons after completing the numerical comparison, while tightening several awkward grammatical constructions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main gender pattern and most values are covered, but one important figure is inaccurate and the required reasons are entirely omitted.
Correct the final female value to about 60 hours and add concise reasons for the widening gender gap as child numbers rise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overview, detail paragraph, and conclusion, with straightforward progression despite some mechanical linking.
Group the numerical comparison and the requested explanation into distinct, logically connected parts without repeating the overview in the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing categories and comparisons, but several collocations such as "occupied with unpaid works" are unnatural.
Use precise phrases such as "spent on unpaid work", "three times as many hours", and "households with three or more children".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures are attempted, but agreement, tense, countability, and sentence-structure errors recur.
Control verb forms and count nouns, especially in phrases describing how many hours each group spends on unpaid work.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.