Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Sample Response
It is true that happiness is very important in people’s liveslife, but some people have different views about how to be happy. This essay will discuss the reasons that makemakes happiness difficult to defineunderstand and the factors that help people attain itthe things how to attain it.
There are things that can make a person happy, while others do not such as a stable job, a beautiful house, or winning a lottery. A person will be happy with his life if he is able to support his family through permanent employmentfeed his family by having a permanent job. Also, if the house is decent, he will be happy to see how comfortable life is to live in a place with wonderful furniture and appliances. Finally, winning a huge sum of money is a dream comecoming true for most people. However, others do not like to buy lottery tickets because some people believe that once they have won the lottery, they might put their family’s life at risk, perhaps, they think somebody will try to kidnap their kids and ask for a ransom.
In additionOn the other hand, there are simple factors that contribute to happinessfactors in attaining happiness. For example, when a family of five cancould meet itsthe basic needs such as food, clothing and a house, this can make the family feel satisfiedthese could make a family satisfied with what they havewith what they already have in life as long as they are together. Another example is being able to pass an English proficiency test to qualify asto be qualified to become a registered nurse in Canada. Most foreign workers would be very glad if they could pursue their careerscareer after passing such a test.
In conclusion, people have their own understandingmeaning of happiness and there are reasons why certain things make them happy such as basic needs or passing an examinationan examination test.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest when it uses concrete examples to show how employment, basic needs, family life, and career progress can contribute to happiness. Its main limitation is that it only briefly implies why happiness is difficult to define, while the extended lottery discussion becomes tangential and some awkward sentences reduce precision. Prioritise a direct explanation of happiness as subjective, then organise the factors into focused, clearly expressed categories.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed, but the reasons happiness is difficult to define are only implied, and some supporting detail is disproportionate or tangential.
Explain directly why definitions vary between people and cultures, then develop two or three clearly selected factors rather than extending the lottery scenario.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognisable introduction, body, and conclusion with broadly clear progression, though some linking is mechanical or logically imprecise.
Use paragraphing to separate the reason happiness is subjective from the factors that produce it, and replace misleading transitions such as 'On the other hand.'
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate and includes some less common items, but recurring awkward collocations and imprecise phrases reduce naturalness.
Improve collocational accuracy in phrases such as 'people's lives,' 'a dream come true,' and 'proficiency test,' while avoiding vague wording like 'things how to attain it.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences, but recurring agreement, clause-formation, and punctuation errors limit accuracy despite generally clear meaning.
Focus on subject-verb agreement and controlled clause boundaries, especially in long sentences containing relative clauses, conditionals, or multiple independent ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.