Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?
Sample Response
I strongly agree with the notion that entertainers today areentertainers, today, are paid an excessive amount of money. CurrentlyIn current times, science and technology have madetaken major strides to improve our societyfor the betterment of our society. Our focus should be on supportingfacilitating such endeavours rather than entertainmentrather than on entertainment. I believe all the biological scientists such asbiological scientists like pharmacists, biochemists, microbiologistsmicrobiologists etc. in our society should be paid more than the people in the entertainment business. These people or as we dub them ‘nerds’ spend valuable hours in their lives in discovering a new molecule that might be used to make our lives better. Their goal is to developdiscover novel ideas and to developcreate innovative techniques. Thus, rather than spending their time with their families or spending an evening in the theatreor an evening in the theatre, they immerse themselves in their laboratories working night after night to discovertoo, maybe, discover a new drug. In recognition of these sacrificesFor such sacrifices, these scientists should receive appropriate remunerationget their due remuneration. However, a discrepancy can be seen in our society. We tend to value entertainers more than scientistsvalue people in the entertainment business more than the scientists who might be working on anthe Ebola virus vaccine. I do not discountdevalue the hard work of actors and football playershard work by an actor or a football player. They had to reach their stardom after endless practice sessions and failures. However, if we make an objective comparison, at the end of the day, it is the work of a microbiologist or a biochemist that helps us to live a healthy and disease-free life. So, our money should be spent on those individuals who strive to bring about a healthier and more comfortable societya healthier and comfortable society.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response maintains a firm position and develops a focused case for paying biological scientists more, using clear comparison and relevant examples. Its main limitation is that the discussion is compressed into one paragraph and gives relatively little direct explanation of why entertainers' pay is excessive. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the two task parts and develop each with distinct, balanced reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear position and a well-supported argument for higher pay for biological scientists.
Develop the claim that entertainers are overpaid with a separate reason or example rather than relying mainly on comparison with scientists.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear progression and uses contrast effectively, but the absence of paragraphing weakens the organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the position on entertainers and the case for scientists, then add a concise concluding paragraph.
Lexical Resource
A varied and generally precise vocabulary supports the argument, including effective terms such as remuneration, discrepancy, and innovative techniques.
Refine occasional awkward combinations such as spend valuable hours in discovering and bring about a comfortable society.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of sentence structures with generally strong control, although a few clauses are awkward or incorrectly formed.
Revise the sentence about scientists working night after night so the parallel structure and infinitive phrase are grammatically complete.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.