World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Peace and prosperity are not bound to gender and in fact, they are connected to the qualities that leaders possess. Therefore, I disagreecontradict with the given idea that women are better suited to leadfemales are better to lead the world than males.
History tells us that males have been better leaders in termsterm of their ruling style and devotion. To judge the state of peace, discrimination between genders is unjust as world’s history is flooded with examples where men leadership lessened chaos around the globe for example in the time of empire system. The given opinion directly conflicts withtotally has a conflict to what we have today. Countries with the lowest rates ofCountries with least rate of brutality, cruelty and violence such as Sweden and Switzerland are ruled by male governors. The United Kingdom is run by a queenrun by Queen which also has maintained prosperitya good prosperity within the state. Again, we have noticed considerable violence and corruptioncorruptions under female governmentsunder the female government in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.Bangladesh!
WorldWorld’s peace is most threatenedinjured by the negative use of nuclear technology, differences in religion, poverty and crime rates.rates etc. If a leader gains control overgets good control of such conflicting issues, then regardless of gender, peace canwould prevail worldwide. Maintenance of peace is influenced by making effective foreign relation policies, eliminating poverty, strengthening funding for needy nations and avoiding war. These are real duties of a leader that both men and women can performwhich men women both can do.
Hence, I totally disagree with the idea of relating peace to the gender of a leader. Both men and women should be given equal chances to lead the world. It is just a general rule to be followed that those who desire peace deservepeace, deserve to be appointed to positions of authorityseated in authoritative positions.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay states a definite disagreement and maintains a relevant focus on the qualities and policies that promote peace, with a clear overall paragraph structure. Its main limitation is that the claim that men have been better leaders conflicts with the later argument that gender is irrelevant, while broad country examples remain insufficiently explained. Build one consistent line of reasoning and support it with carefully qualified, specific evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained overall and relevant reasons are presented, but inconsistent claims and sweeping examples weaken the development.
Frame the argument consistently around leadership qualities rather than gender, then explain one specific example showing how those qualities foster peace.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the essay clear progression, although some sentences within the first body paragraph are connected rather abruptly.
Use a focused topic sentence and organise each example around a single controlling claim before moving to the next point.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range for the topic, but frequent awkward collocations such as 'contradict with,' 'men leadership,' and 'good prosperity' reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate word partnerships, using forms such as 'disagree with,' 'male leadership,' and 'maintained peace and prosperity.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, though recurring article, agreement, possessive, and word-form errors remain noticeable.
Edit systematically for noun forms and determiners, especially phrases such as 'in terms of,' 'men and women,' and 'the world's history.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.