Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In today's modern world, we are constantly confronted by the issue of crimebombarded with the issue of crime which has recently been reported in newspapers as increasing at an alarming rateincreased at an alarming rate in newspapers. Some people, therefore, are of the opinion that each type of crime should have its own fixed punishmentall kinds of crime should have its own punishment which is legislated by the government. However, there are a handful of people who assert that underlying circumstancessome background reasons, which cause the criminals to commit crimes, should be considered when decidingincluded in the procedure of deciding on the punishment. Hence, we will examine both sides of the argument before reaching a reasonable conclusion.
A fixed punishment for each type of crime is necessary for several reasonsdue to several reasons. To begin, it allows offenders who commit the same crime to be treated equallyevery criminal to be treated fairly for every crime. It is important to ensure no one will be discriminated against or treated unfairlybe discriminated or get offended by the public. In addition, there will not be any dissatisfactionunsatisfactory among offendersbetween the criminals who committed the same kind of crime when they are sentenced to jail. Furthermore, a fixed punishment plays an indispensable role in deterringgiving a deterrent in turning the would-be offenders. To illustrate, a severe punishment will be imposed on thosea serious punishment will be incurred to those who commit crimes such as murdercrimes like murders may deter would-be offenders and cause themwill definitely deter and cause would-be offenders to change their minds before committing a crime.
On the other hand, it is vital to take into account the reasons why criminals commit crimes. First of all, many of them, especially teenagers who are more vulnerable to feelings of lonelinessthose feelings of loneliness are more easily influenced by their peers. They lack mature judgementdo not have mature thinking and are not awareare not being aware of the possible negative impacts of committing crimes. According to recent research conducted in Columbia, the statistics showthe statistic has shown that about 58% of the youngsters were influenced by their badly behaved friendsgot affected by their badly behaved friends when they were caught committing crimeswhen got caught to involve in crimes. It is also believed by the public that many criminals have a lack of parental lovethe lackings of parental love which eventually causes them to behave violently and aggressively. They, therefore, involve committing crimes including robberies and murders to show how powerful they are.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that every jury should make their decisions on punishments by considering the reasons why they commit crimes. Our nation will surely continue to prosper and flourish in the decades to come once the crime rates are successfully reduced.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay's strongest feature is its balanced structure: it explains consistency and deterrence for fixed penalties, then presents peer influence and deprived upbringing as reasons to consider individual motivation. The main limitation is that several supporting claims are implausible or only loosely connected to sentencing, while frequent language errors blur the reasoning. Prioritise a concrete legal comparison showing how the same offence may deserve different penalties because of intent, age or coercion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented with relevant reasons, but several explanations focus generally on causes of crime rather than how circumstances should alter a sentence.
Compare two offenders who commit the same crime under different intentions or pressures and explain precisely why their punishments should differ.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-part structure gives the discussion clear progression, although formulaic signposting and some weak links between claims and examples reduce cohesion.
Use each body paragraph to develop one central sentencing principle and connect every example directly to that principle.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of crime and justice vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate forms and collocations make parts of the argument awkward or unclear.
Use standard combinations such as 'consistent sentencing', 'act as a deterrent', 'mitigating circumstances' and 'lack of parental support'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but agreement, article, passive-form and clause-construction errors occur frequently and sometimes impede clarity.
Simplify overloaded sentences and check that each clause has one clear subject and finite verb, especially in examples about punishment and peer influence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
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