In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Sample Response
It is understandable to think that taking a year between finishing high school and starting university studies might be a good thingthink to do. For starters, working and travelling are activitiesboth working and travelling are two activities that provide experiences of some sort to anyone, and doing so shoulddoing so, should give the student a new perspective on his or her life. A high school student is 18 at the time he has to enter university. At that age, someone might think that they areone could think that he is too young to work. But far from thebeing truth, starting a job will prove to be beneficial in the futuresomething good in the future, as long as it isn't a stressful and exhaustingslavering job. By the time the young personboy is ready to begin his university studies, he will be more responsible, more experienced and more awaremore experienced and aware of what he wants to do with his life. If instead of working, he wants to travel, although not making as much money as if he worked, the experience wouldn't be any disappointing. Travelling the world is a rewarding adventure through whichadventure, where a person can learn more about others and about themselvesitself. Besides, travelling alone givestravelling alone, gives you the time to consider whetherthink about yourself, if your life is going the right way and whetherif you are ready to take the next step. Learning about other cultures can help you develop a critical perspectivegrow a critical view on your own cultureabout your own, and be ready to face changes and obstaclesobstacle throughoutduring your life. Although I agree with the premise, I don't think it should be encouraged to take more than a year. If this happens, there is a chance that the student will lose focusthere is a chance that the student loses focus and abandons plans for universityforgets about the university. While making a career in the workplace would be great, we should encourage young and capable students to achieve a higher level of education even if they already have a job. With all that, and with the expressed opinion about the duration, I agree that it should be encouraged for young people to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies, so we can build a better life for the citizens of the future.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is its extended explanation of how work or travel can build responsibility, perspective and cultural awareness. Its main limitation is task coverage: the requested disadvantages of taking the one-year break are scarcely addressed, because the main risk concerns taking more than a year instead. Prioritise adding developed disadvantages of the actual gap year, such as cost, delayed study or difficulty returning to academic routines, and organise both sides separately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The advantages are relevant and developed, but the disadvantages of deciding to take a one-year break are largely missing, leaving the discussion substantially unbalanced.
Develop at least two drawbacks that apply within the one-year period and explain their consequences for young people before reaching a balanced conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move from work to travel and then a caution about duration, but the essay is one long paragraph and shifts between points without a clear advantages-versus-disadvantages structure.
Use an introduction, separate advantage and disadvantage paragraphs, and a brief conclusion that synthesises both sides.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts a reasonable range of experience and education vocabulary, but frequent errors such as “good think,” “slavering job,” “any disappointing” and “grow a critical view” reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as “good thing,” “exploitative job,” “not disappointing” and “develop a critical perspective.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex sentences are attempted, but errors in agreement, pronouns, articles, punctuation and clause construction occur frequently while meaning remains generally clear.
Keep references consistently plural for young people and remove misplaced commas from participial and subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.