We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
It is irrefutable that all countries make efforts to improve their infrastructure and development in the modern era without any interference from others. Many people believeThe community thinks that no nation is ableevery nation is unable to solve the problem of other countries because they do not have sufficient assets as well as funds; therefore, the nation would resolve its internal matterstheir internal matter first and achieve its goals for societyattain their intention toward the society. However, I endorse the statement to some extent. I have solid groundssome solid ground to defend my opinion, which I would like to explicate at length in the paragraph to come.
To begin with, international aidthe international contribution strengthens bondsis offering a strengthening of bonding with one another throughout the world. To explain, aid could be given by funding the development of poor countries for improving the conditions of hospitals and medical training and giving free medicine to ensure good healthcare; this leading needy person or community across the border is likely to set up a correlation with other and offer to exchange possible expects in a serious situation. For instance, during the COVID-19 pandemic, India tried to help and deliver numerous vaccination, including needed amenities, to average countries, which eventually, those countries controlled their cases of infection with the helping hand of India. In addition, refusing to give aida to poor countries could result in hundreds of thousands of unnecessary deaths.
On the other hand, despite international aid, supporting the nation’s people is more valuable for promoting the public interestpublic interest promotion. In other words, it would be wrong when a country considers the problem of other nations instead of people from native countries. At this point, states need to invest substantialhandsome funds to create various opportunitiesstabilize the various opportunity for people, so that people can engage in them and help improvewhich they easily engage and help to improve the economy of the country. For example, several global problems are occurring unpredictablywithout being unpredictable. These includeSuch as climate change, poverty, inequality in society, or severe disastersserve disaster. In that case, countries need to be trained on how to tackle their domestic problems rather than expecting help from others.
To put, In a nutshell, I conclude thatI pen down saying that in some poor nations, conditions have createdthe condition has created a humanitarian crisis that cannot be ignored by rich countries. Therefore, rich countries must implement international lawsmust be implemented world law to provide whatever help is possiblecontribute with possible sort of help in worse conditions.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response shows a useful attempt to consider both international assistance and domestic priorities, and the COVID-19 example gives one argument concrete relevance. However, the writer’s degree of agreement is inconsistent and several ideas become difficult to follow because of inaccurate wording and sentence construction; the priority is to state one precise position, organize each paragraph around it, and express supporting points in simpler, controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides of the issue are discussed with some support, but the degree of agreement is unclear and the conclusion does not fully align with the introduction.
State exactly how far you agree and make every main idea and the conclusion consistently support that position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognizable paragraph structure, although progression is weakened by unclear internal logic and mechanical or inaccurate linking.
Give each body paragraph one explicit controlling idea and connect its explanation and example in a direct sequence.
Lexical Resource
There is an attempt to use a broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices often obscure the intended meaning.
Prefer familiar, precise combinations such as provide aid, developing countries, employment opportunities, and severe disasters.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and word forms cause strain for the reader.
Build shorter complete sentences first, then check each clause for a clear subject-verb relationship and accurate noun forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.