We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
It is true that we are living in a global village. Every country of the world is connected withto each other and every individual has a role to play in societyin the society. Some people think that one cannot help everyone in the society who is in need. Therefore, people should only show concern forshow the concern to the inhabitants of theirhis own country and community. I completely disagree with the statement for the following reasonsreason. Firstly, every nation today is interdependentinterdependent on each other. HoweverThough, some nations are wealthier than others or require their basic needs for food, clothing and shelter to be fulfilled. According to me, countries that are wealthywell to do can help poorer countries to overcome their poverty. For example, some developing nations that have faced a natural calamityhad faced natural calamity require financial help to raise their economy. This is possible when another country is willing to do so. This not only provides support to the affected countrysupport to affected country but also helps to develop international relationships and thus can enhance international trade. Furthermore, many countries like India face problems of unemployment. Other developed nations can resolve this problem by providing job opportunities for immigrantsjob opportunity to the immigrants. ThisThese can be achieved in their country to be supported by skilled workersserved by some skilful individuals which, thereby, affects the economic development of the country. Above all, we all are human beings and inhabitants of this wonderful planet, Earth. We all share the same biology. Therefore, it is needless to say that all should be helpful to each other. Humans make the world and humanity should make a better society. Today many worldwide organisations have been formed to support people in need in different countriessponsor people of different countries or in need. For instance, World Vision, an Australian organisation that sponsors children in different countries so that they can receive a better education and lead a healthy and prosperous life. To conclude, I believe that everyone in the world is capable of helping others in one way or anotherby some way or the other. Therefore, the statement about being concerned only with one’s own communityconcerning with only own community and country is questionable.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear disagreement and supports it with relevant ideas about international interdependence, employment, and humanitarian responsibility. The main limitation is that some reasoning remains broad or loosely connected, while frequent language errors reduce precision; the highest-priority improvement is to develop each reason with a focused example, organise the ideas into visible paragraphs, and edit pronouns, articles, and clause structures carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay clearly disagrees and gives relevant reasons about interdependence, migration, and humanitarian responsibility. Some support is broad and occasionally unclear, but the position is maintained.
Develop each reason with a precise example and explain how it proves that concern should extend beyond national borders.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, body development, and conclusion, but paragraphing is not visible in the submitted text and some logical links are loose.
Use separate paragraphs for international interdependence, employment or migration, and shared humanity.
Lexical Resource
Topic vocabulary is generally appropriate, with phrases such as global village, poverty, international relationships, and worldwide organisations. Some collocations and word choices are inaccurate.
Use natural collocations such as show concern for, meet basic needs, provide job opportunities, and people in need.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is mostly clear, but there are frequent article, pronoun, agreement, and clause-structure errors.
Check pronoun agreement, especially one/person/people, and avoid sentence fragments after though.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.