In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?
Sample Response
In the past, young people only left home once they got married. Nowadays, though, young adults tend to leave home earlieryoungsters tend to leave earlier. While there might be some disadvantages to this trendphenomenon, I believe that its benefits far outweigh them.
There are two reasons why young people should not leave home earlier. Firstly, not all young adultsnot all youngsters are ready to live away from home. An example of this would be the typeAn example of this would the type of people that are easily influenced by friends. Such people might lack the ability to resist pressure from their friendsresist their friends' temptation to get involved in risky behaviour, such as drug abuse or dropping out of studydangerous situations, such as drug abuse. Secondly, parents would have to experience loneliness or empty-nest anxiety earlier than expectedempty nest syndrome sooner than expected. This might be even more pronounced since they worry whether their children are mature enough to live on their own.
Despite the possibleplausible drawbacks, I think there are more advantages to be gainedmore advantages that can be obtained. One of them is that young people would become independent sooneryoung people would sooner be more independent and reliable. Since they could no longer rely on their parents, they have to depend on themselves. For instance, they would learn to do household chores, which they might not have learnt otherwise.
In addition, the parent-child relationshipparents-children relationship is likely to improve once both parties have experiencedonce both parties experienced living apart. Young adults might realise just how much they miss their parents, whom they might have taken for granted all this time. Thus, both sides are likely to make an extra effortmake extra efforts to treat each other better. Besides, parents would have more time to take care of themselves once their children have left homeonce their children left home. The bond between husband and wifeThe bond between the husband and the wife can even deepen this way.
In conclusion, while I agree that there might be some drawbacks to the trend of young adults leaving their home earlier, I believe that there are more advantages to it. Thus, parents should let their children live away from home, even way before their marriage.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear position, considers both sides, and progresses logically through relevant examples, with enough vocabulary range to communicate the argument effectively. Its main limitation is that key benefits, especially greater independence and improved family relationships, remain somewhat general and are expressed with occasional awkward wording and grammar; prioritise one concrete example that demonstrates maturity and explicitly explains why this benefit outweighs the emotional cost to parents.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question directly, presents a clear view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and develops both sides with relevant examples. Some support remains general, especially the independence and family-relationship points.
Add one more concrete example showing how studying or working away from home builds maturity, and explain why that benefit outweighs the emotional cost to parents.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and generally logical progression from disadvantages to advantages and conclusion. Cohesion is smooth overall, though several links are formulaic and a few references are slightly awkward.
Use more precise topic sentences and reduce repeated contrast markers such as despite and while by making each paragraph's role obvious.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible enough for the topic, with phrases such as empty nest syndrome and taken for granted. Some word choices are awkward or overgeneralised, including youngsters, phenomenon, and parents-children relationship.
Use natural collocations such as young adults, parent-child relationship, independent sooner, and live independently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex clauses is used and meaning is clear. There are occasional errors with articles, missing verbs, tense after once, and comparative phrasing.
Proofread each complex sentence for missing verbs and tense consistency, especially after examples and time clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.