Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Reform of public healthcareReformation in public healthcare facilities has been a contentious issue for quite a long time. While some people propose that providing more sports facilitiesincorporating several sports facilities can be highly effectivework like a charm for the public health sector, others opine that public health depends on many other factorshealth concerns many other factors that need equal priorityprecedence. In my opinion, the latter viewperception is more viable and I shall elaborate on the same in the following paragraphs.
It is a well-known fact that regular exercise and active involvement in sports keep an individual healthy in mind and body. As a result, many initiatives have been taken to increase the number ofaugment the construction of yoga centers, gyms, public swimming pools, etc. Furthermore, these facilities have been establishedthey have been established for the public so that they can take partafford to engage themselves in such invigorating activities, which in turn, will create a robust population.
However, like some peoplelike a section of people, I believe that a sole focus on sports facilities will not have a consequential impact on public health. It is because a substantial proportionnumber of the global population does not have access to food, safe drinking water and sanitation, which constitute the necessities of every human. As there is a shortage of the bare minimum requirements, health is adversely affected by malnutrition and ailments like marasmus, scurvy, xerophthalmia, to name a few. Moreover, there is a dearth of public awareness of a number of diseases or health conditions, some of which are fatalfatal to life. Consequently, many people fall prey to them. For example, it took more than three decades to eradicate polio in most countries due to a lack of awareness and healthcare benefits. Likewise, in recent years, socio-economic issues like unemployment, inflation, etc., have created psychological pressure on every individual, resulting in mental disorders.
In conclusion, I would like to say that even though the government is taking steps to encourage people to improve public health, it is of utmost importance that instead of just investing in building sports facilities, we should be involved in bringing in a wholesome change in the public health sector by creating consciousness, increasing the availability of fundamental needs and supporting each other.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s clearest strength is its sustained, well-supported position that broader public-health measures matter more than additional sports facilities, while still acknowledging the benefits of exercise. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision and overstatement in vocabulary and supporting claims. The highest-priority improvement is to use more natural collocations and develop the sports-facilities view with the same specificity as the alternative measures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed, the writer’s preference is clear throughout, and the main argument is supported with several relevant explanations and examples.
Develop the sports-facilities view more fully and qualify broad claims about global deprivation and disease eradication.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with effective overall cohesion.
Use referencing and transitions more selectively so connections feel less formulaic and pronoun references remain immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of topic-specific and less common vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, despite some awkward or imprecise collocations.
Prioritise natural combinations such as reforming public health, raising awareness, and improving access to basic necessities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally strong control, and the few grammatical lapses do not impede meaning.
Refine agreement, reference, and clause construction in longer sentences to make complex ideas consistently precise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.