In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
In several countries, educational institutions are facing tough problems with the behaviour of their pupils, and the issue is worsening over timegetting crushing over time. In this essay, I will suggest that poor parenting is the root cause of this phenomenon, and recommend that a public awareness campaign is the most viable solution to this problem.
The primary reason for poorinferior discipline in schools is poor discipline at home. Many parents do not have the time and skills required to teach their youngsters the value of manners and respect for authorityrespect authority. This results in many young people not listening to their teachers, being rude, and actively rebelling against rules and regulations. For example, a recent study by Cambridge University found that 1 in 4 teenagers would refuse to comply with a rule if they did not agree with it, compared to just 1 in 10 in a similar study in 1990. In modern times, busy working parents and their lack of awareness or timeBusy working parents, in modern times, and their lack of awareness or time have intensified this problem to a great extent during the last couple of decades.
I believe the most effective solution to this issue is a government-sponsored awareness campaign in the whole country aimed especially at new parentsespecially aiming at new parents. An effective advertising campaign could warn of the dangers of misbehaviour and hopefully raisehopefully, raise awareness amongst the public. For example, the United Kingdom recently encouraged its citizenslobbied their citizens to teach their children about the importance of respecting teachers and this resulted in a dramatic improvement in classroom behaviourand this resulted in a dramatic improvement.
In conclusion, widespread negative behaviour in schools has primarily been caused by parents not instilling the values of respect and civil behaviourdeference and civility in their childrenoffspring, and this can be tackled through a public education programme that promotes these values.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear, well-supported progression from poor parenting as the main cause to a practical public-awareness solution. Its principal limitation is the narrow treatment of causation, while a few awkward collocations and interrupted sentence structures slightly reduce polish. The highest-priority improvement is to acknowledge one credible additional cause, then explain why parenting remains central using smoother, more natural academic phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay fully addresses both causes and solutions, with a clear central cause and a practical proposed solution. Development is relevant and well supported, although the answer could acknowledge that behaviour problems may have more than one cause.
Add one sentence recognizing another contributing factor, such as school discipline policy or peer influence, before explaining why parenting remains the main cause.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well organized, with a clear introduction, one cause paragraph, one solution paragraph, and a concise conclusion. Cohesion is generally controlled, though a few transitions and inserted phrases are slightly mechanical.
Use topic sentences that signpost cause and solution cleanly, and remove mid-sentence interruptions that slow the flow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is strong and topic-relevant, including discipline, awareness campaign, deference, civility, and misbehaviour. Some phrases are awkward or overly formal, but they do not prevent meaning.
Prefer natural academic collocations such as "worsening", "respect for authority", and "encouraged citizens" over forced or inaccurate expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is mostly accurate with a good range of complex sentences. Minor errors with prepositions, word choice, and punctuation occur, but control is generally strong.
Proofread noun-preposition combinations and comma placement in long sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.