The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer, and the poor are getting even poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?
Sample Response
It is true that nowadays the difference between the wealthy and the poor is increasing: the wealthy are growing richerthe wealth is growing, while the poor are going deeper into debtdebts.
We must acknowledge that life for some sectionscategories of the population is extremely hard. It does not mean that they are people who have never worked in life or those with anti-social behaviour like drug or alcohol addicted. I read in the "Gold Coast Bulletin"I read in "Gold Coast Bulletin" that 700 households in Queensland had been disconnected from electricity in the past three3 months because they had not been able to pay the bills. It is more difficultIt is true that it is more complicated for these citizens to survive and adapt, as the cost of living is unreasonably high.
FurthermoreOn the other hand, 1% of Earth’s population owns as much money as the remainingrest 99%, a distribution that is deeply unequalwhich is absolutely unfair. I doubt that all of them have inherited their wealth or have been working hard for decades. The names of the two wealthiest families—the Rothschilds and the Rockefellers—The names of the two wealthiest families –the Rothschilds and the Rockefellers are known to everybody. The methods used to acquire such enormous sumsThe ways of getting such enormous sums are not always legal, but society prefers to ignore such facts.
Moreover, these people do not only live in multi-million mansions, drive luxurious cars, eat in sophisticated restaurants, but they constantly show off their money, which many people find offensive and irritating. Instead of spending a fortune on useless things, why are they not more involved in charitywhy are not they involved in charity more? If they have billions of dollars and do not know what else to purchase to attract others' attention, why do they not sharewhy do not share half of their wealth? They will not become poorer, whereaswhile the lives of less fortunate peopleless lucky ones can be transformed, and these people can at least have an opportunitythese people can at least get a chance. The whole society would benefit as a resultbecause of that as the crime rate would fallthe crime level would descend.
Overall,
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its engaged discussion of hardship and inequality, expressed through varied language and several concrete illustrations. However, it only partially answers the two-part task: the problems are diffuse, the proposed solution is largely limited to voluntary charity, and the response ends with an unfinished conclusion. The priority is to organize the essay explicitly around well-explained problems and practical, developed solutions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant concerns about poverty and crime appear, but the problems are not systematically developed and the solution coverage is narrow and incomplete.
Develop at least two distinct consequences and two realistic measures, explaining clearly how each measure would reduce the wealth gap.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates broad ideas, but progression is weakened by a misused contrast marker, argumentative digressions, and the unfinished final paragraph.
Use a task-led structure with dedicated problem and solution paragraphs, then complete the argument with a concise summary of both parts.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably wide vocabulary, although recurring collocational and word-form problems make some expressions awkward or imprecise.
Improve control of fixed expressions and noun phrases, such as 'fall deeper into debt,' 'people addicted to drugs or alcohol,' and 'crime rate.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly, but errors in articles, agreement, question inversion, and coordination recur.
Check auxiliary-subject order in questions and proofread complex sentences for complete clauses, accurate agreement, and balanced parallel structures.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer, and the poor are getting even poorer. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.