minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Sample Response
Parental responsibilities and roles are very important for the parents to make their children prepared for the future. The way a father or mother treats a child greatly affectsaffects greatly for his/her future growth both mentally and physically. If parents fail to take great care of their children, then those children might go astray and will blameclaim their parents for their misfortune. Every mother and father loveslove his or her children more than anything in this world and they expect them to be great persons and well established in the futurewell established in future. Throughout human historythe human history, mothers mainly take care of the children and do most of the childcare workmost of the works for the children. On the contrary, men are mainly busy outside the home to earn athe living for the whole family.
This is not to say that men are not important in caring for childrenof importance in children caring and they do not know their kids. They are most necessary if children are to appreciate fully the roles of both sexes. But women have proven themselves superior parents as a result of their condition, their less aggressive natures and they are generally better at communicating with childrenbetter to communicate with kids. Men remain busy at workat their works and have to stay outside the home most of the time, but women have plenty of spare timelots of spare times to share with their children. From the time they are little girls, females learn about nurturing. First with dolls and later perhaps with younger brothers and sisters; girls are given the role of carercareer. Girls see their mothers in the same roles and so it is natural that they identify this as a female activity. Boys, in contrast, learn competitive roles far removed from what it means to nurture. While boys may dream of adventures, girls' conditioning means they tend to see the future in terms of raising families. Girls also appear to be less aggressive than boys. In adulthood, it is men, not women, who prove to be the aggressors in crime and in war. Obviously, in raising children, a more patient, gentle manner is preferable tothan a more aggressive one. Although there are certainly gentle menthere certainly exists gentlemen and aggressive women, by and large, females are less likely to resort to violence in attempting to solve problems.
But if we consider that all women are good for their children and men are unable tomen can not raise a kid properly then perhaps it would be a biased judgementpartial judgment. Is not there any family where the mother has died or not present and it is the father who takes care of the children as well as does jobs outside? Certainly, there are lots. In third world countries, fathers are comparatively more educated than the mothers and theythe take care of their children's education greatly. A child needs the affection and carecaring of both father and mother.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response explores both perspectives at length and supports its claims with a range of explanations and examples, ending with a recognisable view that children benefit from both parents. Its main weakness is an uneven position: much of the essay asserts female superiority before the final paragraph substantially qualifies that claim. A clearer thesis, balanced paragraphing, and more controlled sentence-level accuracy would make the argument substantially more convincing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored with relevant development, but the writer's final position is not established consistently throughout the response.
Present the qualified view that both parents matter in the introduction and use each body paragraph to build toward it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has an identifiable progression, but very long paragraphs and some abrupt shifts weaken balance and local cohesion.
Divide the extended discussion into focused paragraphs for female strengths, male contributions, and the final synthesis.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a broad vocabulary for parenting and social roles, though frequent awkward collocations and word-choice slips reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as children caring, role of career, and spare times with accurate, natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, but recurring agreement, article, preposition, and sentence-construction errors remain noticeable.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and accurate clause construction, especially in long sentences and rhetorical questions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.