minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Sample Response
Many people believe women make better parents than men since the dawn of timesince the dawn of the time. Throughout historyThroughout the history, women have played a major rolewomen have a great role in raising children in many societies and otherssome other people claim men are as good at parenting as womenmen make good parents than women. Whether or notThe issue whether or not women make better parents than men is always a debatable issue. Strong arguments are there from both the sides and let us discuss in a detailed way.
Firstly, children are always attached to theirthe mother and feel free to reach out for anything. An instance illustrating this in action is almost all of my friends are attached to my mother rather than my father. It is obvious from this that a mother plays a greater role in bringing up childrenmother has a greater role in children brought up. In addition to this, A mother is a good role model for her childrenMother is a good role model for their children and children always try to follow her examplefollow them and naturally a mother can become a better parent than the father. For example, every child shares their happiness or sorrow with their mothershares their happiness or sorrow to the mother first. This makes it clear that womenThis makes clear women make better parents than men.
There is always another side of the coin. Currently, both men and women are working in all families and children are attached equally. For example, my friends' childrenkids of my friends are attached equally to both father and mother. This clearly shows that men can also be good parentsshows that men also make better parents. In addition to that, men started sharing the responsibility of children and children also slowly reaching to father also. So it has been proven thatit has proven than men can be as good at parenting as womenmen also better parents than women.
Thus it is recommended that both men and womenmen or women both can make good parents and take responsibility forof their children. It is better to share the responsibilities as much as sharing love.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response gives both viewpoints and ultimately states that mothers and fathers should share parenting, while its paragraph sequence makes the broad direction easy to follow. However, the ideas are repetitive and supported by unclear or weakly relevant examples, and frequent language errors reduce precision; the main priority is to formulate a clear position from the introduction and develop each side with distinct, logically explained evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The main viewpoints are addressed and a final position is given, but development is limited, repetitive, and sometimes supported by confusing personal examples.
State the equal-parenting position clearly in the introduction and support each main claim with one specific, logically relevant explanation or example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has recognisable paragraphing and overall progression, although linking is formulaic and ideas within paragraphs are often repetitive.
Give each paragraph one distinct controlling idea and use referencing or logical transitions instead of repeated phrases such as "This clearly shows."
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing parenting, but repetition and frequent inaccurate word combinations restrict flexibility and precision.
Build accurate topic collocations such as "raise children," "share childcare responsibilities," and "form an emotional bond" and avoid repeating "attached."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some varied structures are attempted, but frequent errors in tense, comparison, agreement, articles, and sentence construction are noticeable throughout.
Focus on accurate comparative forms and complete clause patterns, especially structures such as "better parents than" and "children are gradually becoming closer to their fathers."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
minutes on this task: Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.