The graph below shows usual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries in a year.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the usual water usage by various industries, namely fuel, food and beverages,foods and drinks, machinery, metal, chemicals, paper, and textiles,chemicals, paper and textiles, in several countries over a year.
Overall, the chemical industry consumed the most water from both groundwater and public supply,ground and public sources, whereas fuel, machinery, and textiles recorded the lowest overall usage figures.fuel and machinery recorded the lowest usage figures overall.
In terms of groundwater, the chemical industry accounted for the largest shareconsumed the greatest volume at 430 million cubic meters, followed by metal (240 million cubic meters) and paper (190 million).metal and paper at 240 and 190 million cubic meters respectively. Meanwhile, food and drink usedFoods and drinks used 110 million cubic meters of groundwater, while machinery consumed the smallest volume at a modest 10 million cubic meters,at only 10 million cubic meters, followed by fuel and textiles at 70 and 80 million cubic meters respectively.
Turning to the public water supply, chemicals led with exactly 240 million cubic meters, which was followed by foods and drinks with 190 million cubic meters. Machinery and metal recorded public supply usage of 100 and 90 million cubic meters respectively.Paper used 20 million cubic meters, followed by fuel and textiles, which shared an identical 10 million cubic meters eachidentical figures of 10 million cubic meters each.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a fully accurate and highly structured description of the visual data, highlighting key trends and supporting them with precise figures. The organization is logical, and the writing demonstrates exceptional grammatical control alongside appropriate academic vocabulary. To reach an even higher standard, adding deeper comparative analysis between the two water sources within paragraphs would enhance task presentation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately reports data for all categories across both water sources without error.
Group and contrast data directly by industry rather than listing each water source separately to highlight contrasts more dynamically.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into distinct paragraphs based on water supply type with smooth cohesive transitions throughout.
Vary referencing and linking expressions further to avoid repetitive sentence starts when presenting sequential data points.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of vocabulary related to data presentation is used accurately and flexibly with strong word choice.
Incorporate more varied collocations for describing numerical comparisons to reduce reliance on listing phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied, accurate, and completely clear throughout the response with consistent control of punctuation.
Ensure minor spacing and typographical formatting standards are maintained consistently between sentences.