You recently took a part-time job working for a local company. After a few weeks, you realised there were some problems with the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter: explain why you took the job describe the problems that you experienced suggest what could be done about them
Sample Response
Dear Mr Chen, I am Rona Lyn Olivar, one of the part-time receptionists at your Sea View Hotel. I have been working here since July and I have taken the job to gain some experience that I thought would be helpful for my future career. I am writing to draw your attention to a few issues I have encountered in the hotel. I am hoping that you would take steps to solve these. I have noticed that some of the duty staff at night shift sleep inside the hotel's quarter instead of being at the reception area. Literally, I and Lindsay- who is also a new employee, work and manage everything at night. They even do not bother to come to the reception area at busy hours when we have an influx of guests - usually on Friday nights. I believe this is against the rules. Moreover, breakfast is supposed to be ready before 7:00 am but it is not the case. Sometimes the guests have to wait till 8:00 am for breakfast to arrive. Some of the guests have lodged complaints regarding this. I thought you should be notified about these irregularities. Duty officers on the night shift should be reprimanded and warned so that they execute their duties. Besides, look at the recent complaints regarding the delay in breakfast serving and talk to the head chef. I look forward to your response regarding this matter. Yours sincerely, Rona Olivar
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Past simple Original: I have taken the job Suggested revision: I took the job Why it matters: Use past simple for the decision to accept the job.
- 2. Modal match Original: I am hoping that you would Suggested revision: I hope that you will Why it matters: This is the more natural tense and modal combination for a request.
- 3. Shift phrase Original: duty staff at night shift Suggested revision: staff on the night shift Why it matters: This is the natural phrase for employees working that shift.
- 4. Staff quarters Original: inside the hotel's quarter Suggested revision: inside the staff quarters Why it matters: “Staff quarters” is the correct workplace expression.
- 5. Preposition Original: the reception area Suggested revision: the reception desk Why it matters: In this context the staff should be “at the reception desk”.
- 6. Remove exaggeration Original: Literally, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This adverb is unnecessary and weakens the formal tone.
- 7. Pronoun order Original: I and Lindsay- Suggested revision: Lindsay and I, Why it matters: The other person should normally be named before “I”, and punctuation is needed around the inserted clause.
- 8. Natural order Original: They even do not bother Suggested revision: They do not even bother Why it matters: This is the natural position for “even”.
- 9. Peak hours Original: busy hours Suggested revision: peak hours Why it matters: “Peak hours” is the usual phrase for the busiest times.
- 10. Formal preposition Original: till 8:00 am Suggested revision: until 8:00 am Why it matters: “Until” is more formal and precise than “till”.
- 11. Noun phrase Original: breakfast serving Suggested revision: breakfast service Why it matters: “Breakfast service” is the correct noun phrase in a hotel context.
- 12. Natural collocation Original: execute their duties Suggested revision: carry out their duties Why it matters: This is a more natural collocation for staff responsibilities.
Suggested Rewrites
- I have taken the job I took the job
- I am hoping that you would I hope that you will
- duty staff at night shift staff on the night shift
- inside the hotel's quarter inside the staff quarters
- the reception area the reception desk
- Literally, Delete
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter fully covers the reason for taking the job, the night-shift and breakfast problems, and suggested managerial action. The tone is generally suitable for a manager, though a few requests sound slightly blunt.
Keep the specific examples but phrase the suggested actions as professional requests rather than direct orders.
Coherence and Cohesion
The progression is clear, moving from role and purpose to problems and solutions. However, it is presented as one long block, and a few cohesive links such as “Moreover” and “Besides” are mechanical.
Split the letter into clear paragraphs for introduction, night-shift issue, breakfast issue, and requested action.
Lexical Resource
There is good workplace vocabulary such as “influx of guests”, “lodged complaints”, and “irregularities”. Some collocations are inaccurate, including “hotel’s quarter”, “busy hours”, and “execute their duties”.
Use natural hotel-management collocations such as “staff quarters”, “peak hours”, and “carry out their duties”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter uses a range of complex structures, but grammatical control is uneven. Errors occur in tense choice, articles, pronoun order, and sentence construction.
Check tense consistency and noun phrases, especially after prepositions such as “on the night shift” and “in the reception area”.