You recently took a part-time job working for a local company. After a few weeks, you realised there were some problems with the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter: explain why you took the job describe the problems that you experienced suggest what could be done about them
Sample Response
Dear Mr Patrick, I am working as a part-time computer operator in your office for the last six weeks. I took the job to fund my internship in a software programming course. Today, I am writing to raise some concerns about the problems I facing on the job and hoping your intercession to solve them. I was told at the time of joining that the working hours would be from 2:00 to 6:00 pm. However, I have been working from 2:00 to 10:00 pm for the last couple of days. Unfortunately, the person who is supposed to come at 7:30 pm sharp does not show up until 10.00 pm. Moreover, my supervisor forces me to work on Fridays, which according to my job contract is not mandatory. Although I had managed to work on Friday until the last week by missing a few lectures at college, it seems unmanageable in the future as this will affect my studies. I would really appreciate it if you could talk to our supervisor about these problems and offer me a solution as early as possible. Otherwise, I would have to quit the job, even though I enjoy my work and love working for your company. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely, Riya Nagpal
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Tense choice Original: I am working as a part-time computer operator Suggested revision: I have been working as a part-time computer operator Why it matters: Present perfect continuous fits “for six weeks”.
- 2. Missing verb Original: the problems I facing Suggested revision: the problems I am facing Why it matters: The continuous form needs “am”.
- 3. Unnatural noun Original: hoping your intercession Suggested revision: hoping for your help Why it matters: This is more natural and professional.
- 4. Time clarity Original: from 2:00 to 6:00 pm Suggested revision: from 2:00 pm to 6:00 pm Why it matters: Repeat “pm” for clarity.
- 5. Time punctuation Original: until 10.00 pm Suggested revision: until 10:00 pm Why it matters: Use a colon consistently.
- 6. Measured tone Original: forces me to work Suggested revision: requires me to work Why it matters: This sounds more formal.
- 7. Comma pair Original: which according to my job contract Suggested revision: which, according to my job contract, Why it matters: Set off the inserted phrase with commas.
- 8. Tense consistency Original: Although I had managed Suggested revision: Although I managed Why it matters: Simple past is enough here.
- 9. Time phrase Original: until the last week Suggested revision: until last week Why it matters: The article is unnecessary.
- 10. Precise future Original: it seems unmanageable Suggested revision: this will be unmanageable Why it matters: This links the problem to future Fridays.
- 11. Collaborative phrase Original: offer me a solution Suggested revision: help me find a solution Why it matters: This is a more natural request.
- 12. Complete sentence Original: Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Suggested revision: I look forward to hearing from you soon. Why it matters: Use a complete formal closing.
Suggested Rewrites
- I am working as a part-time computer operator I have been working as a part-time computer operator
- the problems I facing the problems I am facing
- hoping your intercession hoping for your help
- from 2:00 to 6:00 pm from 2:00 pm to 6:00 pm
- until 10.00 pm until 10:00 pm
- forces me to work requires me to work
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter clearly explains why the job was taken, describes the extended-hours and Friday-work problems, and asks for managerial help.
Keep the relevant content, then revise the wording and organisation points highlighted in the essay comments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically ordered and already has useful paragraphing, though the final request could connect more explicitly to the two problems.
Use clearer paragraphing and smoother links so each bullet point is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource
Workplace vocabulary is adequate, but some choices are unnatural or too formal, especially “intercession”.
Prefer natural collocations and precise topic vocabulary over overformal or translated-sounding phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is used, but verb patterns, tense and punctuation need polishing.
Proofread tense, articles, prepositions and sentence boundaries before submitting.