While some people opine that computers have made our life more convenient and easier, others, however, oppose it and say that computers have actually made our life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion on this?
Sample Response
People have argued about the existence of computers. A group of people believe that computers are beneficial for human beings, while others think that computers have made their life become more difficult. I personally believe that computers are useful for people as long as they use them proportionately.
For a number of reasons, some people believe that computers have made their life become more complicated. Firstly, with the invention of portable computers, many companies are expecting their employees to bring home those notebooks. Many employees have felt that the condition has negatively affected to their social life. Secondly, with the innovation of internet technology, people are working at a faster pace nowadays. It is believed that this condition has increased the stress level of many employers.
However, another group of people think differently, as they believe that computers have assisted them in many aspects of their lives. With the existence of office application software, employees could easily process thousands of data in just a couple of hours. And then, with the online technology, people could stay connected with their business partners, family and relatives who live far away from them without the boundary of cost. Lastly, the computer could also be used as a platform for entertainment, as they could be utilised for playing video games, watching videos and surfing the internet.
In conclusion, it is a fact that people have different opinions about computers. Some people believe that computer has a lot of positive sides, while others think that it has more negative sides for the human being. From my point of view, it is true that computer has its own advantages and disadvantages, but I believe that if people use is wisely, the benefits of computers will outweigh the drawbacks.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a precise focus Original: existence Suggested revision: impact Why it matters: The debate concerns computers' effects rather than whether they exist.
- 2. Fix number and form Original: made their life become more difficult Suggested revision: made their lives more difficult Why it matters: The plural possessive requires lives, and made already expresses the change.
- 3. Choose the right adverb Original: proportionately Suggested revision: appropriately Why it matters: Appropriately expresses suitable use, whereas proportionately refers to relative quantity.
- 4. Fix number and form Original: made their life become more complicated Suggested revision: made their lives more complicated Why it matters: The plural subject requires lives, and become is redundant after made.
- 5. Describe current use Original: invention of portable computers Suggested revision: widespread use of portable computers Why it matters: The argument concerns present workplace practices rather than the original invention.
- 6. Use natural wording Original: bring home those notebooks Suggested revision: take those laptops home Why it matters: Take laptops home is the natural expression for carrying work devices home.
- 7. Remove wrong preposition Original: condition has negatively affected to Suggested revision: situation has negatively affected Why it matters: Affect is transitive and must take its object without to.
- 8. Improve the collocation Original: innovation Suggested revision: development Why it matters: Development is the natural noun for the evolution of this technology.
- 9. Correct the group Original: employers Suggested revision: employees Why it matters: Employees, rather than employers, are the workers described as experiencing stress.
- 10. Use concise terminology Original: office application software Suggested revision: office applications Why it matters: Office applications is the standard concise term for these programs.
- 11. Use an uncountable noun Original: process thousands of data Suggested revision: process large amounts of data Why it matters: Data is treated as uncountable in this construction, so thousands of is unsuitable.
- 12. Use formal linking Original: And then Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: Furthermore links this additional benefit more directly and formally.
Suggested Rewrites
- existence impact
- made their life become more difficult made their lives more difficult
- proportionately appropriately
- made their life become more complicated made their lives more complicated
- invention of portable computers widespread use of portable computers
- bring home those notebooks take those laptops home
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear qualified opinion and supports both the benefits and pressures of computer use with relevant, easy-to-follow examples. Its main limitation is recurring imprecision in vocabulary and grammar, which sometimes produces inaccurate meanings, such as confusing employers with employees. The highest-priority improvement is to use more exact word choices and edit sentences for agreement, articles, pronouns, and natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The opinion is clear throughout, and both sides are relevantly explained, although some examples and claims could be developed more precisely.
Explain more explicitly how each example supports the qualified position that benefits depend on proportionate use.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, but sequencing devices are somewhat mechanical and some referencing is imprecise.
Use logical links based on cause and contrast rather than relying heavily on formulaic markers such as firstly and lastly.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but frequent collocational and word-choice problems reduce precision despite generally clear meaning.
Check key nouns and verb combinations carefully, especially employee versus employer, data usage, and expressions about cost and effects.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences, but recurring agreement, article, pronoun, and preposition errors limit control.
Edit each sentence for subject-verb agreement and consistent singular-plural reference before refining more complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
While some people opine that computers have made our life more convenient and easier, others, however, oppose it and say that computers have actually made our life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion on this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.