Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion?
Sample Response
I feel computers have made life easier and more convenient. All the manual work will be replaced when the computers are used and accessing the information is also faster. Below are some of the examples to support my point of view. In older days, Typewriters were used effectively to print the contents on the paper. But, if more copies of the same data were needed, one has to type as many pages as needed. But In computers, typing once is required. The data could be transferred to a device and any number of copies could be printed. This reduces manual effort that was put using typewriters. In any government company, the documents were maintained in papers filed and recorded manually. This makes complex searches or the access to a particular document. In the case of fire or any disasters, the information will be lost or destroyed. Nowadays this process is being computerised and it is more secure than having it in papers. This makes searching also faster and multiple backups can be taken to secure the data more. Nowadays I feel 75% of the banking is computerised and most of the transactions are online which could be done from home itself. This is safer than a manual transaction. This also reduces the work of going to a bank. Getting the corresponding forms, filling them, and crediting or debiting the money. Some people do not have proper knowledge on how to access the data through computers or they may be workaholic and not concentrating on any other things in life than computers and hence they may feel computers have made their life more complex and stressful.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: when the computers are used Suggested revision: when computers are used Why it matters: Computers are referenced generally, so the definite article is unnecessary.
- 2. Use generic noun Original: accessing the information Suggested revision: accessing information Why it matters: 'Information' is used generally here and does not take 'the'.
- 3. Use formal signposting Original: Below are some of the examples Suggested revision: The following are some examples Why it matters: This is a more natural way to introduce examples in formal writing.
- 4. Use natural time phrase Original: In older days Suggested revision: In the past Why it matters: 'In the past' is the standard expression for an earlier period.
- 5. Use lowercase common noun Original: Typewriters Suggested revision: typewriters Why it matters: A common noun in the middle of a sentence should not be capitalized.
- 6. Use uncountable nouns Original: the contents on the paper Suggested revision: content on paper Why it matters: Both 'content' and 'paper' are used uncountably in this general statement.
- 7. Correct transition punctuation Original: But Suggested revision: However Why it matters: 'But' should not be followed by a comma here, while 'However' provides a correct sentence transition.
- 8. Keep past tense Original: has Suggested revision: had Why it matters: The surrounding description of typewriters is in the past tense.
- 9. Use clear comparison Original: But In computers Suggested revision: With computers Why it matters: The original connector and preposition do not introduce the comparison grammatically.
- 10. Use natural passive form Original: typing once is required Suggested revision: text needs to be typed only once Why it matters: The revision clearly identifies what is typed and places 'only' naturally.
- 11. Use concise effort phrase Original: manual effort that was put using typewriters Suggested revision: manual effort required by typewriters Why it matters: The original wording uses an unnatural combination of 'put' and 'using'.
- 12. Use precise institution term Original: company Suggested revision: organization Why it matters: 'Government organization' is the more natural general term for a public-sector body.
Suggested Rewrites
- when the computers are used when computers are used
- accessing the information accessing information
- Below are some of the examples The following are some examples
- In older days In the past
- Typewriters typewriters
- the contents on the paper content on paper
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay states a clear opinion and supports it with relevant examples involving printing, document storage, backups, and online banking. Its main limitation is presentation: the response is one long paragraph, several examples are expressed through fragments or unclear sentences, and the opposing concern is handled only briefly. Prioritise clear paragraphing and controlled cause-and-effect explanations for the strongest two examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and supported by several relevant examples, though some claims are imprecise and the stressful side receives only limited consideration.
Develop two strongest examples in depth and briefly explain why their convenience outweighs problems caused by limited skills or overuse.
Coherence and Cohesion
Examples follow a broadly logical sequence from printing to storage and banking, but one-paragraph presentation, fragments, and repeated transitions weaken progression.
Use separate body paragraphs for workplace records and online banking, each beginning with a clear benefit and ending with its practical effect.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for computing, records, backups, and banking, but repetition and inaccurate combinations limit flexibility.
Use natural phrases such as 'reduce manual work', 'store records electronically', 'retrieve documents', 'back up data', and 'online transactions'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence types is attempted, but frequent errors in tense, articles, prepositions, agreement, and sentence completion reduce accuracy.
Correct fragments and keep time references consistent, especially when contrasting former paper systems with present computerised processes.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.