The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Sample Response
The line graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing had the highest number of jobs at the beginning, but it decreased after 1980. Conversely, employment in retail and healthcareIn contrast, retail and healthcare expanded over the sixty-year timeframeincreased over the period, while agriculture declined and remained the least significant sector by the end of the period.remained the smallest sector in the end.
In 1960, manufacturing provided about 15 million jobs, which was much higher than the other sectors. It then rose to 20 million in 1980 before falling to around 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. The number of jobs in retail started at approximately 6 millionRetail started at about 6 million jobs and increased steadily to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000. By 2020, it, alongside healthcare, became one of the two largest sectorsit became the largest sector with approximately 16 million jobs.
Healthcare also showed a marked upward trajectorystrong upward trend. It began with only 2 million jobs in 1960, increased to 5 million in 1980 and 11 million in 2000, and finally reached about 16 million in 2020. By contrastOn the other hand, agriculture contractedfell from around 6 million jobs in 1960 to 3 million in 1980 and 2000, before dropping further to about 2 million in 2020.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully satisfies the requirements of the task. It provides a clear overview highlighting the main trends (the decline of manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth of retail and healthcare) and accurately reports key data points for all four sectors across the given years.
To improve further, highlight the intersection points where trends crossed each other (e.g., healthcare overtaking agriculture around 1970, or retail/healthcare overtaking manufacturing between 2010 and 2020).
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized, with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs grouping similar trends together. Cohesive devices are used naturally, though some transition signals could be more varied.
Vary transition signals to avoid overusing standard contrast links like 'On the other hand' when presenting purely statistical comparisons.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is appropriate and varied enough to describe trends clearly (e.g., 'strong upward trend', 'increased steadily', 'declined'). However, there is some repetition of basic verbs like 'increased' and 'fell'.
Incorporate more advanced lexical items for describing trends, such as 'experienced a steady climb', 'surpassed', 'dwindled', or 'witnessed a contraction'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The grammar is highly accurate with a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Tenses are used correctly throughout to describe past events (1960–2020).
Maintain this level of accuracy while trying to use more complex noun phrases (e.g., 'The job market in the manufacturing sector...') to vary sentence openings.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.