The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Sample Response
The line graph compares the number of jobs, in millions, across four economic sectors in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing was the biggest employer for most of the period, but its figure fell after 1980. By contrast, retail and healthcare grew steadily and became the two largest sectors in 2020at the end. Agriculture declined and remained by far the smallest employment sectorarea of employment.
In 1960, manufacturing provided 15 million jobs, compared with about 6 million in each of retail and agricultureabout 6 million in both retail and agriculture. Manufacturing employmentIts total then rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980, before dropping to 17 million in 2000 and approximately 13 million by 2020. Retail showed a different pattern, increasing gradually from 6 million to 10 million and then 15 million in the first three data points shownfirst three years shown. It finished at around 16 million jobs.
Healthcare started with only 2 million jobsworkers in 1960. However, it more than doubled to 5 million in 1980 and reached 11 million in 2000. Employment in this sector climbed furtherThis sector climbed further to 16 million in 2020, the same as retail. Meanwhile, agricultural employment fell from 6 million to roughly 3 million in 1980 and 2000, then decreased to 2 million.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear organisation and accurate, detailed coverage of every series, supported by fluent and well-controlled language. Its main limitation is the overview claim that agriculture remained the smallest sector, although healthcare was lower in 1960. The highest-priority improvement is to make overview comparisons fully time-specific so that broad trend statements never conflict with the chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear overview and accurately covers nearly all major trends and figures, with one overgeneralised comparison about the smallest sector.
Qualify the overview by stating that agriculture became the smallest sector after 1960, since healthcare began lower.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced into a concise overview and well-focused detail paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally.
Refine the transition between retail and healthcare to foreground their equal final figures even more explicitly.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range of trend and employment vocabulary is used naturally with effective paraphrasing and collocation.
Replace the slightly vague phrase 'the first three years shown' with explicit years for maximum precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of simple and complex structures is handled accurately, with consistently clear sentence control.
Continue developing stylistic flexibility by varying the structure of data-comparison sentences without sacrificing accuracy.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.