The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts.
Sample Response
The given diagram shows how the weather information is collected by the Australian Bureau of Meteorologyby Australian Bureau of Meteorology to provide accurate and updated weather forecastsforecasting. OverallAs is observed from the given illustration, the weather information collection is done via satellite, radar and drifting buoyssatellites, radars and drifting buoys and then analysed before broadcasting them to the public. In the first stageAs is presented in the diagram, the weather information is collected using three different types of sources Deletenamely, satellites, radars and drifting buoys. The raw data collected from satellites is basically satellite photophotos while radar data is shown on radar screensradar information is observed from the radar screens and the synoptic charts are producedyielded from the drifting buoys and the analysed data is then sent to a computer systemthese three types of data are fed into a computer system to analyse and prepare the weather news for broadcasting. After that, the weather news is broadcastAfter that, the weather, the news is broadcasted in different public media such as televisionpublic media like televisions, radios and telephones. The final information regarding the weather is provided to the public via TV news, radioradio broadcasting and as a recorded announcement in recorded telephone announcementsdevices like telephones.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response accurately traces the main process from the three information sources through analysis and computer preparation to the public broadcast channels. Its effectiveness is reduced by repeating the source list, presenting everything in one paragraph, and using several awkward forms, so the highest priority is to organise the description into clear stages and describe each step once with precise passive process language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The process is described accurately overall, including the three input sources, analysis stage, computer preparation and broadcast channels. Some details are repeated and the analysis outputs could be stated more cleanly.
Describe the sequence once from incoming information to analysis, preparation and broadcast, avoiding repeated source lists.
Coherence and Cohesion
The order follows the diagram well, but the answer is one paragraph and repeats the collection stage.
Use a short overview plus one process paragraph, or split the process into input, analysis/preparation and output stages.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is appropriate for a process diagram, though “broadcasted”, “weather news” and “devices like telephones” are less natural.
Use process terms such as data is received, analysed, prepared and broadcast via TV, radio and recorded telephone announcements.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is mostly clear, but articles, passive forms and punctuation errors occur.
Check article use with institutional names and remove comma errors that break subject-verb connections.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.