World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Same questionCompare 8 different answers (Band 5–6.5)

Sample Response

1

The world has experienced many terrors and wars where there are many victims who suffered because of the use ofsuffered by the use of deadly weapons or political decisionsa deadly weapon or a political decision taken by a leader. Some people believe that those conflicts were mainly caused by male leaders who used their power and were driven by greedused their power and greed to attack other nations. Female leadership, according to many, could be an alternativealternative option to promoteprevail peace in the world as female leadership in history suggests fewer wars and conflictsless war and conflicts among nations and countrymen. I do not agree with this notion for several reasonsbased on several reasons. Firstly, wars in historywars in the history are not about gender, but about political decisions. In many countries in this world, war becomes the last option availablethe last option to grasp when diplomatic negotiations failin case negotiation diplomacy fails to protect national intereststo cover national interest. For example, in WWII, Germany and the US failed to negotiate their national interest, war as a consequence was eminent. War is not about a gender perspectivegender perspective, but a rational choice that forces leadersleadership to take action. Furthermore, there is no solid evidence that female leadership would bring peace throughoutover the world. Some people believe that male makes decisions with their logic and female with their heart, but there is no exact fact to prove this argument while some female leadership, for example, Margaret Thatcher, known as "Iron Lady" because of her rigid way of ruling the country. Conflicts and political deaths in many South Asian countries like India and Bangladesh under female leadership also showshows how people have made an overgeneralisationpeople have over generalised that a female could bring better world and peace. Thus, the idea about female leadership better than male leadership is not justified enough to change status quo. To sum up, many people believe that the male leaders are prone to abuse their power to make war and violence while female ruling could bring world peace. Only a few womenwoman leaders actually ruled the world compared to the overwhelming numbernumbers of male rulers in history and that’s how this opinion got biased. Their opinion is not proved and I believed this current situation is not because of the gender issue, but for political rational choices.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response’s clearest strength is its consistent disagreement and its attempt to support that position through political reasoning and examples of female leaders. Its main limitation is that several claims and examples are asserted imprecisely, while frequent awkward collocations and grammatical errors reduce authority and fluency. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each argument with accurate, clearly explained evidence and then edit sentences for natural phrasing and agreement.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.5
Scoring rule

A clear position is maintained and supported by two relevant lines of argument, though some examples are questionable or insufficiently explained.

Next step

Develop each main reason through a precise causal explanation and a credible example that directly demonstrates why leadership decisions are unrelated to gender.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

Ideas follow a broadly logical sequence and signposting is clear, but the single-block structure and some mechanical transitions weaken organisation.

Next step

Separate the introduction, main arguments, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs and use transitions that express the exact relationship between ideas.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, but frequent collocational and word-choice errors make expression noticeably unnatural.

Next step

Replace awkward combinations such as “prevail peace” and “cover national interest” with standard academic collocations, then check word forms carefully.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

There is some variety in sentence structure, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, plurals, tense, and clause construction reduce accuracy.

Next step

Prioritise subject–verb agreement and article control, and revise long sentences so that every clause has a clear grammatical connection.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

World history suggests that violence and conflict were more evident under male leadership than under female leadership. So, for peace to prevail, female leadership can be considered as a better option than male leadership. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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