When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Same questionCompare 9 different answers (Band 5.5–8)

Sample Response

1

During the last century, science and technology have expanded to a great extent. As a nation focuses more on technology, it is true that the conventional skills and previous lifestyle vanishes. I strongly agree that there is no point in retaining them. This can be proven by analysing how technology can save a lot of time as well as be accurate enough. It is apparent that the latest machines can do a lot of work in very little timewith minimal time. For instance, in thea construction industry, a crane can lift a heavy load of materialsa block of heavy materials within a fraction of a minute. By using the traditional skills, it will take at least a day to uplift bulky items to the top of a building. Thus, it is obvious that it makes no sense to focusmakes no sense on focusing on traditional skills and ways of lifeprevious skills and ways. Similarly, when automated machines can sew thousands of garmentsmore than thousands of clothes, there is no point in involvingthere is no point to involve manual labour to produce only a hundred per dayonly hundred per day! It is a fact that almost all industries prefer computers for account related tasks as they are much more accurate and fastervery much accurate and faster. For example, consider a bank thatwhich has to calculate the turnover over the previous decadeturnover for its past decade. By using softwareBy using a software it would be possible to get the exact value. Even though there are a lot of algorithms used by old generation, it is not guaranteed that the calculation will be so precise and faster. Hence it is clear that there is notno much benefit in focusing on traditional expertise. By analysing how science has helped in completing the workgetting the work done faster with precise results, it is very clear that there is notno much advantage in retaining old skills and ways of lifeold skills and lifestyle. It is considered that the community will raise public awareness of this issuethe community will create this awareness among the masses.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response maintains a clear position and supports its case with concrete examples of speed and accuracy in construction, manufacturing, and banking. However, its argument is repetitive and treats traditional practices mainly as inefficient labour, leaving traditional ways of life and the possible value of preservation largely unexplored. The highest-priority improvement is to develop a broader comparison that directly explains why cultural as well as practical traditions need not be retained.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.0
Scoring rule

A clear position is supported by relevant examples, but the discussion narrowly equates tradition with inefficient manual work and underdevelops the ways-of-life aspect.

Next step

Address both traditional skills and cultural ways of life, and explain why their possible value is outweighed by technological benefits.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The ideas follow a broadly clear progression from speed to accuracy, although repetition and the absence of effective paragraphing weaken organisation.

Next step

Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into clear paragraphs while reducing repeated claims about there being no benefit.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response uses sufficient topic vocabulary, but several awkward collocations and word choices reduce precision.

Next step

Use more natural combinations such as save time, preserve traditions, accounting tasks, and little benefit, checking countable nouns and articles.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly, despite recurring agreement, article, comparison, and noun-form errors.

Next step

Prioritise subject-verb agreement and accurate noun phrases, especially in constructions involving singular subjects, quantities, and comparisons.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Your response

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