Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Nowadays, the advancement of technology has greatly improvedimmensely catalysed the improvements in our day to day experiences. Technology plays many vital roles in the fields of medicine, industrial science, research, and telecommunications. Additionally, these technological advancements are utilised by security agencies. Some are concerned that recording people's activities through the use of technology without their knowledge isare a violation of citizens’ privacyagainst citizens’ privacy. In my view, this is of little concern compared to the many positive aspects this surveillance brings usbrings for us including protecting citizens from terrorismterrorists and detecting crimes.
Firstly, the implementation of technology, especially in establishments for security purposesestablishments for the use of security, has helped in resolving crimes like theft. More and more companies take advantageadvantages of this by installing multiple CCTVs or surveillance cameras around their premises. Criminals who are unaware of these cameras are caught red-handed committing crimescaught red handed in doing their mischief. In addition, surveillance cameras not only help reduce rising crime ratessolve the increasing crime rates but also aid in finding lost items and tracking down runaway pets by reviewing recordings from previous daysthe recording of the previous days and even weeks or months. The sole objective of this monitoring system is to protect people and detect crimesprotect and detect crimes, not to violate people’s privacy. The criminals do not come from other planets. They live among us thus to detect them the security authority needs to monitors all citizens.
The only disadvantage of the use of technology in this aspect is the violation of a person's privacy. Some individuals place a high value on protectinghold very high regard to protecting their personal space and would be dismayed to find out that they were being recorded by a hidden camerawere recorded on a hidden camera. Because of this, there is less freedoma decreased amount of freedom that one has to perform certain activitiesin doing some activities, especiallymost especially in public places.
In summary, technology has drastically improved our way of living and has greatly contributed to solving criminal cases in the arearesolving the criminal cases around the vicinity. It is my firmdeepest belief that there is more space for the development of technology that will ultimately outweighwhich will absolutely defy the few disadvantages that this advancement brings.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear view that surveillance benefits outweigh privacy costs and develops crime detection with several concrete applications. Its main limitation is one-sided weighing: privacy is treated as the only drawback, while the claim that authorities need to monitor all citizens is neither qualified nor reconciled with consent concerns. Prioritise safeguards and a direct comparison between targeted security and indiscriminate monitoring.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and both benefits and privacy costs are discussed, but the weighing relies on broad claims and overlooks safeguards against excessive surveillance.
Explain how warrants, transparency, data limits, or oversight could preserve crime-prevention benefits while reducing harm to innocent citizens.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, benefit paragraph, disadvantage paragraph, and conclusion create clear progression, with only occasional internal digressions.
Keep the crime paragraph focused on its strongest evidence and move the claim about monitoring all citizens into a qualified evaluation of proportionality.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a fairly wide range of surveillance and crime vocabulary, though several collocations are inaccurate or overstated.
Prefer natural phrases such as 'improve daily life', 'take advantage of CCTV', 'caught red-handed', 'solve crimes', and 'value their privacy highly'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally understandable, but recurring agreement, article, preposition, and verb-form errors reduce accuracy.
Check subject-verb agreement and plural forms, especially 'recording activities is', 'companies take advantage', and 'authorities need to monitor'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.